what should i not tell my divorce attorney

by Mr. Tracey Schowalter MD 3 min read

25 Secrets Your Divorce Lawyer Won't Tell You

  1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated...
  2. That legal costs may compel you to live very frugally No one wants to lead by asking you to make some dramatic cuts...
  3. That you may have to accept responsibility for the divorce Fault-based divorce...

Full Answer

What are some secrets your divorce lawyer won't tell you?

Jan 04, 2019 · 25 Secrets Your Divorce Lawyer Won't Tell You 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated... 2. That legal costs may compel you to live very frugally No one wants to lead by asking you to make some dramatic cuts... 3. That ...

What are the signs of a bad divorce lawyer?

Apr 20, 2020 · Past or present sexual infidelity. Drug, alcohol, or other addictions which may have caused you to overspend, support a claim for alimony or property division, or impact your claims for custody. Mental health diagnosis, behavioral challenges, or criminal record that may affect your ability to care for your children.

Is your divorce lawyer qualified to handle your case?

Jan 16, 2018 · You Have Hidden Assets. Hiding assets is never a good idea. It’s against the law, and the other side will likely uncover them during the “discovery” phase of your divorce trial. If you aren’t disclosing assets to your spouse, tell this to your lawyer.

How do I know what to expect from a divorce?

You may not want to tell your attorney about an embarrassing financial situation, less-than-flattering parenting methods, or an adulterous affair, but if your lawyer is in the dark, it can be devastating to your relationship and to your case. Divorce is a complicated, raw matter and the last thing you need to be worrying about it your attorney thinking poorly of you.

image

Should you tell your attorney everything?

It is the kind of information that the client may wish to share with anyone – even their lawyer. The truth is this – a lawyer, any lawyer handling any important legal matter must have all of the facts and evidence in the case to do their job.Jun 13, 2021

How do you win everything in a divorce?

6 Divorce Tactics to Win a CaseEstablishing a Solid Defence. In highly contested divorces, both spouses will have a reason why they believe the courts should agree in their favor. ... Forming an Attack Theory. ... Building a Compelling Story. ... Dissipating Any Anger. ... Rehabilitating Your Client. ... Negotiating the Agreement.

Should I tell my lawyer I cheated?

You are having an affair You certainly may not want your spouse to know if you have been involved with another person, but marital cheating is important to disclose this to your attorney. And, even if you do not want your spouse to discover the relationship, it may come out anyway during the process of the divorce.Apr 5, 2017

What not to do when you want a divorce?

The Don'ts of DivorceDon't take matters into your own hands. ... Don't go against court rulings. ... Don't expose your kids to your animosity. ... Don't confide in your kids. ... Don't try to be a hero. ... Don't rush into another relationship. ... Don't forget to be a parent.Jul 10, 2020

What a woman should ask for in a divorce settlement?

5 more things to ask for in a divorce settlement agreement Co-parenting plan. Relationship building. Documentation. Money.Aug 16, 2019

How do you fight a narcissist in a divorce?

Tips and Tools for Divorcing a NarcissistDocument every encounter with your spouse. ... Be prepared for a lengthy and expensive divorce. ... Keep logs of the time you and your spouse spend with your children. ... If your spouse has primary custody, make sure you note every time you are denied access to your children.More items...•May 12, 2021

Should I tell my husband I got a lawyer?

It's often not a good idea to tell your spouse that you're meeting with a divorce lawyer, though “it varies from family to family,” Provder says. If you're still just considering divorce, silence is generally the best option. If you are concerned about your safety or access to finances, you should also stay silent.May 17, 2019

Do and don'ts during divorce?

DO Show your children the love and attention they deserve. Make sure they know they are not the reason for the divorce. DON'T Stop the children from seeing the other parent during their scheduled visitation time. Obey all court orders, even ones with which you disagree.

How do I protect myself financially in a divorce?

How to Financially Protect Yourself in a DivorceLegally establish the separation/divorce.Get a copy of your credit report and monitor activity.Separate debt to financially protect your assets.Move half of joint bank balances to a separate account.Comb through your assets.Conduct a cash flow analysis.More items...•Oct 28, 2021

How can a woman protect herself in a divorce?

How Women Can Protect Themselves Financially in a Divorce1) Put together a post-divorce budget.2) Try to avoid making financial decisions based on emotions.3) Don't plan on Alimony.4) Have assets appraised.5) Think long-term.Jun 9, 2021

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

What do you need to do if you are divorced in California?

One thing you can do is gather financial documents your attorney will need in your case. In almost every California divorce, property division is an issue, and if you have children, child support will be an issue, as well as possibly spousal support.

What should a divorce lawyer not tell you?

Here are seven secrets your divorce lawyer won't tell you (but should). 1. You Might Not Get Your Day in Court... A divorce is a lawsuit, and we usually think of lawsuits as ending in a trial. However, many, if not most lawsuits end in a settlement. This is especially true of divorce, where upwards of 90% of cases settle—and some reports place ...

Is a divorce trial worth it?

The expense of trial is worth it if a trial is needed to reach a just result in your case, but often, it's not. 3. Your Divorce Lawyer Might Not Have Much Trial Experience. If most divorces don't go to trial, that means many divorce attorneys don't have a lot of trial experience.

Do aggressive divorce attorneys go to trial?

Remember the first secret above: most divorce cases don't go to trial. An aggressive attorney can actually get in the way of a productive settlement, extending the case and billing more hours by stirring up hostility and "churning" the file.

Can an aggressive lawyer force you into a trial?

At worst, an aggressive attorney can force you into an expensive trial you didn't need. Most of the time extended conflict enriches the lawyers, not their clients. What's more, when your case is done, your lawyer doesn't have to deal with the ongoing hostility he or she has helped to stoke between you and your ex—but you will.

Do divorce cases go to trial?

Remember the first secret above: most divorce cases don't go to trial. An aggressive attorney can actually get in the way of a productive settlement, extending the case and billing more hours by stirring up hostility and "churning" the file.

Is divorce expensive?

Even if you do everything possible to keep your legal bill down, there are no two ways around it: divorce is expensive. Your attorney probably won't be able to tell you exactly how expensive, because that will depend on how your case unfolds.

What are the causes of alimony?

Past or present sexual infidelity. Drug, alcohol, or other addictions which may have caused you to overspend, support a claim for alimony or property division, or impact your claims for custody. Mental health diagnosis, behavioral challenges, or criminal record that may affect your ability to care for your children.

What happens if a secret comes out in a divorce case?

When a secret does come out at trial or late in the case, it leaves you and your divorce attorney with no time to prepare a defense. Experienced divorce lawyers have dealt with issues of adultery, drug use, and domestic violence.

What happens if you keep secrets from your divorce lawyer?

But keeping secrets from your divorce attorney as you prepare your case together could cause big problems later when the skeletons get dragged out of the closet.

What is the purpose of a divorce lawyer?

To prevent or mitigate the consequences resulting from the client committing a future crime. In seeking assistance from other attorneys on how to comply with the rules or court orders. In cases where the client has sued the attorney. That means when you sit down with a divorce lawyer, you can feel secure knowing that your secrets are safe ...

What happens behind closed doors in your own home?

In other cases, things that happened behind closed doors in your own home can be dragged out into the open as you and your ex-spouse battle over child custody or establish grounds for divorce .

What is divorce litigation?

Divorce litigation is deeply personal. Unlike civil lawsuits or contract disputes that involve money, divorce and child custody cases can often delve into all the worst parts of your past. In many cases, your spouse was your confidante and knows things about you no one else does. In other cases, things that happened behind closed doors in your own home can be dragged out into the open as you and your ex-spouse battle over child custody or establish grounds for divorce . The skeletons in your closet may become part of your Maryland divorce if your spouse presents evidence of past misconduct, which might include: 1 Physical abuse, emotional abuse, or cruelty which caused your spouse to abandon the home. 2 Past or present sexual infidelity. 3 Drug, alcohol, or other addictions which may have caused you to overspend, support a claim for alimony or property division, or impact your claims for custody. 4 Mental health diagnosis, behavioral challenges, or criminal record that may affect your ability to care for your children.

Is it better to admit a psychological diagnosis?

Often, it is better to admit a psychological diagnosis and demonstrate ongoing treatment than to hide a condition only for it to come out later on. If you don’t share complete information with your attorney from the onset, then your attorney may not be prepared to insulate you from the negative impact of any such claims.

What to tell your lawyer about prenuptial agreements?

Absolutely tell your lawyer about any prenuptial agreements you signed or those you verbally agreed to before your marriage. This includes any type of agreement you might not have known was official, such as a napkin you signed when you and your spouse were out to dinner during engagement planning. The courts take written contracts very seriously in any capacity. The same is true for any postnuptial agreements you signed. These contracts can change the outcome of your divorce case and are critical information to give to your lawyer.

What to do if your spouse is not an American citizen?

Tell your lawyer if you or your spouse is not an American citizen, so he or she can offer help and advice for what to do after the finalization of the divorce. There may be immigration laws you need to take into account to keep you or your spouse’s status legal.

What is the difference between assertive and take charge divorce lawyers?

11. Too Detached. You don’t want a lawyer who becomes too emotional or weepy in court.

What happens if your lawyer doesn't understand your law?

If your lawyer doesn’t understand local laws or procedures, your case may end up taking much longer than necessary, or even worse, being dismissed because your attorney failed to meet essential requirements.

What does it mean when a lawyer doesn't respond to messages?

A lawyer who doesn't respond to numerous messages probably isn't giving your case the attention it deserves. 6. Unfamiliarly with the Divorce Process. Many attorneys focus on one or two practice areas, such as family law or criminal law.

What happens if your attorney forgets your 4th child?

Although you shouldn’t worry if your attorney forgets the name of your fourth child, there's a major problem if your lawyer doesn’t know anything about your case . Your attorney should remember the basics about your divorce.

What happens if you miss a court date?

Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice. 2. Perpetually Late. It’s a bad sign if your attorney is always running late, especially if it’s to an important meeting or a court hearing.

Can my attorney tell me what's happening in my divorce?

Your attorney should know your case status at any given time . It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask.

Is it okay to ask your attorney to check your case notes?

It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask. 5. Unreturned Phone Calls. It's usually a bad sign if your attorney consistently fails to return your calls within a reasonable time.

Honesty is the best policy

You’ll want information from us and we’ll give that to you as best as we can. We will also want information from you. Just as you want us to be honest, we want you to be honest too.

Information we may want from you

Some of the information that we could ask for during a consultation includes,

Contact us and schedule a free consultation

Cravens & Noll represents clients in the Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Harrisonburg areas in all aspects of divorce, including negotiation, mediation and taking a case to court. We give our clients the opportunity to explain their situation and concerns and talk about the goals they’re seeking.

What is the goal of hiring an attorney?

For many women, the ‘goal’ of hiring an attorney may simply be “get me outta this marriage!” But honing in on what you want your life to look like after the divorce dust has settled can be a useful tool for identifying how you want to work through the process of ending your marriage.

How long did it take Elizabeth to get divorced?

Having this goal in mind helped keep things moving, and as a result, her divorce took 364 days between her initial filing and final judgment.

How to get money from a prenup consultation?

If you want to get your money’s worth from a consultation, make sure you bring all of the documents associated with your prenup. The same goes if you and your spouse have started working out a separation agreement (or other agreement related to your pending split) in writing.

What should be on a second credit list?

On a second list you should put all of your credit accounts (including, but not limited to credit cards, student debt, personal loans, mortgage, car loan, etc.). That list should include the name of the debtor (s), the current balance on the debt, and the monthly payment.

Can you represent yourself in divorce?

Most states allow individuals to represent themselves in the divorce process. And, it’s more common than you think: 80 percent of divorces involve at least one party representing themselves. Lots of people go this route – which means you can, too.

Is it a good idea to talk to a lawyer about divorce?

If you’ve made up your mind and there’s no alternative but divorce, talking to at least a few lawyers is always a good idea. The first consultation is usually always free, so you’ve got nothing to lose. But, you can gain a lot of information during attorney interviews if you head into the conversation armed with the right questions.

What happens if you violate a no contact order?

A spouse who violates a no contact order by calling, texting, emailing, approaching or stalking the victim spouse may face jail time. An attorney can communicate on a spouse’s behalf in cases where a protective order is in place.

Can you use foul language in court?

Moreover, foul language and threats may later be used against you in court . It’s important to be on your best behavior when contacting your spouse. However, it’s important to reach out to your spouse immediately if you have an urgent question or need to discuss details for picking up or dropping off a child.

Can you record a phone conversation with your spouse?

Those communications may become useful in your case. Avoid recording telephone conversations with your spouse. If you haven ’t told your spouse that the call is being recorded, it may not be admissible in court. In rare circumstances, your attorney may suggest video recording an interaction.

image

Disclose All Relevant information.

Image
It’s important to share all relevant facts with your divorce attorney so he or she can prepare for and deal with potential problems. Even if you think a particular fact is irrelevant to your divorce, make certain to mention it to your attorney so he or she can decide whether the item could create a problem down the road. You don’t nee…
See more on collaborativedivorcetexas.com

Provide A Written History of Your Marriage.

  • It’s helpful for your attorney to have a written statement outlining the important facts in your marriage, including how you met your spouse, when you married, the names and ages of your children, your education, where you work, critical events in your marriage, what you think caused the divorce, and who wants the divorce. A good way to organize the history is chronologically fro…
See more on collaborativedivorcetexas.com

Issues to Discuss.

  • There are a number of important issues you will need to discuss with your attorney during the first meeting, including child custody, child support, spousal support, division of the marital estate, any separate property claims, community debts, and your expectations about the likely outcome of the case. You will want to discuss sole or joint custody of the children, standard visitation or shared …
See more on collaborativedivorcetexas.com

Things Not to say.

  • Finally, there are some things you should not say to your prospective attorney, such as “I don’t care about costs because I want to punish my spouse, I want to bring a friend with me to our meeting, I need to get this over with as soon as possible because I want to remarry, or I will never pay child support to my ex-spouse.” Telling a lawyer you don’t care about costs may double your …
See more on collaborativedivorcetexas.com