what it means when your wife is looking for a divorce attorney

by Mabelle Dicki 6 min read

While you may have had no idea you were getting a divorce until you were served, your wife has likely been planning this for a long time. This probably means she has had a divorce lawyer for a while now. Her attorney’s legal team has carefully prepared her Petition as well as other motions and court filings.

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Do You Know Your Wife wants a divorce?

Here is a bonus, smart move you can make when your wife wants a divorce is to control your tone and your words. We are big believers in men behaving like gentlemen at all times. Yelling, arguing, threatening, or similar behavior is not smart. It is downright stupid. It is exactly the cliché of throwing fuel on the fire.

What do divorce lawyers not want you to know?

You can't force your wife to stay married to you. And if you refuse to cooperate, you’ll find yourself getting served divorce papers anyway. Then you’ll be left with no choice but to…. 4.) What to do when your spouse wants a divorce: You could hire a divorce lawyer and try to protect yourself.

Should I hire a divorce attorney to help my wife?

Your Wife Already Has a Lawyer. While you may have had no idea you were getting a divorce until you were served, your wife has likely been planning this for a long time. This probably means she has had a divorce lawyer for a while now. Her attorney’s legal team has carefully prepared her Petition as well as other motions and court filings.

What happens when you file for divorce with your wife?

what does it mean when you file for divorce? When you file for divorce, you are asking the court to end your marriage. The court will divide the property and debts. If you and your spouse have children, the court will issue custody, visitation and child support orders. A divorce is also called a “dissolution of marriage.”

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What should you do when your wife tells you she wants a divorce?

What to Do If Your Spouse Wants a DivorceAct as though you will move forward with confidence. ... Allow your spouse to come to you with questions or concerns. ... Be your best self. ... Behave respectfully toward your spouse. ... Don't engage in arguments. ... Get help. ... Give your spouse some space. ... Keep busy.More items...•Aug 20, 2021

How do you tell if your wife is planning a divorce?

Here are common signs that your partner wants a divorce:Unable to Resolve Problems. ... Emotional Disengagement. ... Lack of Attention to the Marriage. ... They Care More About their Appearance All of a Sudden. ... Financial Problems. ... No Communication. ... Being Disrespectful. ... Lying to Your Spouse.More items...•Nov 9, 2018

How do you tell if she has slept with someone else?

Is She Cheating? 10 Signs Your Girlfriend Just Slept With SomeoneShe's Constantly On Her Phone Once She Gets Home. ... She's Not In The Mood For Sex. ... She's Always Busy. ... Shopping Sprees. ... She Comes Home And Immediately Showers And Changes. ... She's Concerned With Your Whereabouts. ... She's Unhappy When She Gets Home.More items...

What are the signs of a cheating wife?

Physical Signs Your Wife Is CheatingHangs Out With Friends More Often. ... Always on the Phone but Never Calls You. ... Lack of Intimacy - Avoids Having Sex. ... Office Schedule Changes. ... Gets Independent and Demands Privacy. ... Emotionally Distant and More Secretive. ... More into Her Looks. ... Receives More Gifts.More items...•Oct 5, 2021

What is divorce mediation?

Divorce mediation allows you to negotiate the terms of your settlement as parents, not litigants. Because even though you’re no longer going to be husband and wife, you love your kids and are still and always will be dad and mom. Peaceful.

Can both spouses divorce at the same time?

It's rare for both spouses to be on the exact same page about divorce at the exact same time. What's more common is wife wants divorce, husband doesn't. Even if the husband is fully aware the marriage has broken down. That might not make you feel any better, but now that you know your wife wants a divorce, you need to know how best ...

Is it scary to find out your wife wants divorce?

Finding out your wife wants a divorce can be surprising, disappointing and scary for any husband. Especially since you've probably heard horror stories about guys like you going to court and getting railroaded in the process.

What does it mean when your wife files for divorce?

If your wife filed first for divorce, it means she has been preparing to do it for a while and has a clear plan of what she wants to take with her from your marriage. While you may feel shell shocked, this is no time to surrender.

What to do with a wife's petition for divorce?

Along with her Petition, your wife also likely filed Motions for Temporary Orders. Once a divorce action starts, there are issues that often cannot wait until the divorce is resolved. This includes matters regarding finances , child custody , child support, and spousal support. Your wife has, no doubt, carefully prepared these motions with her legal team. She may be asking the court to allow her to live in your house, give her full custody of your children, award her additional child support, order large spousal support, or grant her control over community assets.

What happens if you file your wife first?

By filing first, your wife has started the clock and set the process on her time table. She was able to take as much time as she needed to prepare her Petition and choose when to file it with the court. You don’t have the same luxury of time. Along with her Petition, you were also served a Summons.

Is divorce emotionally difficult?

Divorce is emotionally challenging for all men. Unfortunately, some men experience so much guilt and despair about divorce that they give into every demand made by their wives or her attorney, no matter how ridiculous. If your wife filed first for divorce, it means she has been preparing to do it for a while and has a clear plan of what she wants to take with her from your marriage. While you may feel shell shocked, this is no time to surrender.

Is divorce decided by who files first?

Divorce cases are not decided by who files first. Still, the person who files first does gain a few advantages. It is important that you understand that by filing first, your wife has started a series of deadlines that you must meet. She has started out prepared with a plan. Now you need to play a little catch up.

How much does a divorce cost?

It's no secret that divorce can be expensive. In fact, according to Narris, the average cost of legal fees in a divorce is an astounding $15,000! One way to cut down on these expenses is to use a mediator.

Why is divorce so stressful?

Some people even see divorce as a way to seek revenge on a spouse by seizing money and assets. Although divorce can bail you out of an unhappy marriage, it can also milk you for all you are worth if you don't know your rights.

How long does it take to get divorced in Arkansas?

Arkansas takes the longest amount of time at 540 days. If you live in one of these states, you and your spouse might want to consider relocating to expedite the divorce process.

What is a DOS in divorce?

Typically, the court uses a formal date of separation (DOS) to determine property division and the value of certain assets. "If you are expecting a large increase in the value of a major asset upon a certain occasion, be mindful of that when you decide to initiate the divorce," said Narris. 23.

Which states have the most lenient divorce laws?

Some States Are Better for Getting a Divorce. According to the government research site InsideGov, the five states with the easiest and most lenient divorce laws are Alaska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Iowa and Washington.

Do you have to have a brokerage account before filing for divorce?

According to Luna, it's important to make sure you have the current statement for your spouse's brokerage account before announcing and filing for the divorce. After all, a deceitful spouse could very easily liquidate the account with no paper trail by neglecting to cash checks until later.

Can ex spouses write off alimony?

A Former Spouse Can Be a Great Tax Shield. People who pay alimony are rarely grateful for the opportunity. However, ex-spouses can actually help you out come tax time . According to Narris, people who pay alimony to their exes can write it off as a tax deduction.

What to do if your wife wants divorce?

If you think your wife wants divorce, then you might want to start looking for divorce advice for husbands. A meeting with an attorney may be your best move, even if you're still going to keep fighting for the marriage.

Why do drifting wives take a cold attitude?

The reason it's so common for a drifting wife to take on a cold attitude right before asking for divorce is because it makes it EASIER for her to ask for a divorce if she's made herself care LESS about the marriage.

What is an emotional affair?

An emotional affair is one of the most common and dangerous problems that men who come to Husband Help Haven are struggling with. Telling you exactly what to do if you're wife is having an emotional affair is beyond the scope of this article, but a good place to start is with the Emotional Affairs 101 series.

Can sex problems cause divorce?

To be clear, problems in your sex life will not CAUSE your wife to want a separation or divorce. Bedroom problems alone will not cripple a marriage. But, they're a good indicator that other problems are having an effect on your marriage. The health of your marriage is NOT defined by how frequently you have sex.

Is it true that your wife is going through a significant change?

That’s just a fact of life. This is especially true if that change had a significant impact on her priorities, her daily life, or the people she's around. If you, your wife or your marriage has gone through a significant change recently, that could be the catalyst for your wife’s new divorce-friendly perspective.

Can a bedroom be a symptom of a sexless marriage?

Bedroom problems can be a symptom of other existing problems. I wouldn't say it's common , but it's also not at all uncommon for me to a wife want divorce from a sexless marriage. That being said, it's very rare for a wife to want out because the marriage is sexless; it's the other way around...

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

What to do if your spouse doesn't respond to divorce?

If your spouse doesn’t respond to the divorce petition at all, you’ll need to get ready for trial. Your lawyer can help you get the proper documentation together so you can successfully get the divorce granted.

How to proceed with divorce?

1. Choose the Grounds for Divorce. Every state requires you to provide a reason for the end of the marriage. Every state also offers some kind of no- fault divorce. Either way, you have to prove that you have grounds for the divorce.

What to do when your wife won't cooperate?

When your wife won’t cooperate, you may think the best option is to hire a lawyer for litigation. However, before you reach this point, you can also try another option to get the ball rolling. Then, you can bring in a lawyer as needed. Let’s take a look at how to set the divorce in motion with minimal strife on both sides.

Can a divorce be completed without one person agreeing to it?

The court needs to agree to grant the divorce, not the other person in the marriage. As long as the necessary financial and legal issues get resolved, the divorce can be completed with one person never agreeing to it.

Can a divorce be filed with the court?

You can file your divorce papers with the court, and your wife can argue against as many points in the agreement as she wants to. She may make it difficult to reach an agreement on child support, alimony, the division of property, parenting arrangements, and more. These negotiations can run on for a long time.

Is divorce good for kids?

She may try to convince you to “stay together for the kids,” so have your argument as to why divorce is best for the whole family ready. The more long and argumentative the divorce is, the harder it is for the kids. Your wife may not want a divorce, but if she cooperates with the process, the children will be better for it.

What is the final sign of divorce?

7) Emotional Exhaustion. Emotional exhaustion is often the final sign that you need a divorce. When you go through marriage counseling, apply all the techniques to your relationship, and you still feel drained, a divorce can be the only way to salvage your emotional health. When one or both parties check out of the relationship emotionally, ...

What to do if you feel you have to hold back from harming your spouse?

If you find yourself having to hold back from harming your spouse, or even yourself, you should get out the relationship. Often, people who have crossed the line to hitting and harming have been there too long. Their mind can’t see a way out. If you can feel that time coming, get out.

How does marriage counseling work?

Marriage counseling is a great way to work on your problems and receive the invaluable input of an objective third party with training in dispute resolution. Numerous marriages are saved each year through marriage counseling, but both partners must be equally committed to the process for marriage counseling to work. If your spouse isn’t committed and you still want to save your marriage, try the Lone Ranger Track of Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp. If you have been involved in marriage counseling for at least several months with no signs of progress, that standstill can be a strong indicator of when to divorce. Knowing when to divorce requires first making an effort to fix the problems in the marriage so neither party has regrets.

What does it mean when both parties check out of a relationship?

When one or both parties check out of the relationship emotionally, it means that there is very little chance that you will be able to find a solution to your marital problems. Marriage requires a commitment from both parties, so one of the most reliable signs for when to divorce is when one or both partners have given up.

What is the hallmark of a successful marriage?

One of the hallmarks of a successful marriage is being able to stick to a single topic of disagreement without generalizing small problems into larger issues with the relationship. If you can’t resolve conflicts this way, it may be time to contact a divorce attorney.

Can marriage counseling help with an affair?

Marriage counseling can help you determine whether your marriage can survive an affair, or whether you should start thinking about when to divorce. Unfaithfulness destroys the trust in a relationship, so often marriage counseling is not enough to rebuild that trust, and a divorce becomes the only option.

Can you divorce if your spouse doesn't see your kids?

You don’t need to feel bad that your spouse won’t see the kids. Someone who abuses someone that they made a commitment to love and cherish deserves whatever pain they feel. And the children will be better for not seeing abuse. Abuse is a rock-solid, indisputable reason for divorce.

How to prepare for divorce?

If you’re thinking about divorce, you need to immediately begin to set aside money for the all the expenses involved. Make copies of all your financial documents and legal records before your divorce proceedings begin.

What to do in a contentious divorce?

In more contentious divorces, an attorney can make sure that your interests are represented in court. Even in a “friendly” divorce you are often better off hiring a lawyer to help file paperwork and guide you through the court system. 2. Don’t neglect your finances.

What to do when a divorced couple has a large amount of assets?

Don’t forget to consult an attorney. A lawyer can make sure that you both review and understand anything before you sign or agree. An experienced family law attorney is often a good idea for situations where the divorcing couple has a large amount of assets, property or other complicated financial matters.

Is it normal to want to tell someone about divorce?

Emotions are running high, it’s perfectly normal to want to let others know what’s going on in your life. You may desperately want support, you may not want to suffer in silence, or you may just want to punish your partner and embarrass them. This doesn’t mean that you have to keep your a divorce secret from everyone, you just need to decide who you tell and why.

Do family and friends have good intentions when divorced?

Your family and friends may have good intentions, but their divorce experience is based on the facts and circumstances that are unique to them and may not apply in your situation.

Can you use your kids to manipulate your spouse?

This should go without saying, but unfortunately, it still happens, even unintentionally. Check your own behavior and don’t use your kids to punish or manipulate your spouse. In the end, this will cause resentment and have a negative impact on the relationship you have with your children.

Can you have a relationship outside of marriage during divorce?

Even if you and your spouse no longer live together, in some states a relationship outside of marriage can become an issue during the divorce process. With all of the changes going on in your life, avoiding any type of romantic relationship is often the best thing to do for your emotionally. 8.

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