how to interview an attorney about narcissist

by Mrs. Ashtyn Windler IV 9 min read

The trick to triggering a narcissistic rage is to first make your STBX look good in front of your family law professionals. Once you have done this, and thrown them off-guard, you then ask questions to expose their problematic behavior. For instance: you or your attorney should begin by asking your spouse if they love their children.

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What is a narcissistic lawyer?

Narcissists can’t accurately see where they end and another person begins. Thus, narcissistic lawyers believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do. They are shocked and highly insulted to be told no.

What are the biggest mistakes you can make when divorcing a narcissist?

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in divorcing a narcissist is having the wrong lawyer! Do not underestimate the importance of retaining a lawyer that understands this personality type. It will make things much easier for you in the long run when you don’t have to “educate” your lawyer on whom you are dealing with.

What can a narcissist do to win a court case?

False Accusations. Narcissists will often beat their opponent to court by falsely projecting their issues onto the opponent. This false accusation forces the opponent to be on the defensive and causes the court system to frown when the opponent makes a similar charge against the narcissist. Entrapment.

What is narcissistic behavior and how can you spot it?

Narcissistic behavior is, in a sense, lashing back at the society that they should have felt safe in, says Leaf. “In a distorted way, ‘narcissists’ are almost trying to right a wrong, but in an unhealthy way.” People behave in a narcissistic way because they have reacted to a toxic situation, she says.

Is the interview process flawed?

Can you identify a person's character in an interview?

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How do you win a legal battle with a narcissist?

How to Deal with a Narcissist in Court ProceedingsCommon Narcissistic Traits. Exaggerated self-importance (feelings of superiority without achievements to support it) ... Don't Engage. ... Shield Your Kids from the Conflict. ... Don't Expect Mediation to Work. ... Document Everything. ... Be Prepared to Explain Narcissism to the Judge.

How do narcissists expose themselves in court?

Getting a narcissist to reveal themselves in court may be as easy as allowing them to talk about what a great parent they are to their children. Let them talk about how they spend time with the children doing homework, taking them to practice, and riding bicycles.

What is the best way to outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply. Take time to heal. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict. React with empathy and respect. Act unresponsive around them. Disengage from their conversations. Set and enforce clear boundaries.More items...

How do narcissists prepare for court?

Key Takeaway About Beating a Narcissist in Family CourtDocument everything with facts, dates, and copies of any communications.If other people witnessed your spouse's behavior, tell your lawyer immediately.Remain calm during each court appearance or meeting involving your spouse.More items...•

How do you prove narcissistic abuse?

How To Prove Narcissistic Abuse To Others (12 Clever Ways)Document Every Interaction. ... If Legal, Record Conversations. ... Tell Loving Friends and Family About the Narcissistic Abuse. ... Have People Witness the Narcissist's Behavior. ... Prepare Yourself for Their Patterns. ... Trigger the Narcissist. ... Expose Any History of Abuse.More items...•

Do judges know about narcissists?

Though virtually all judges have dealt with NPDs, many judges may not know the difficult person before their bench in custody court is an NPD, and most judges do not understand the disorder well enough to make effective interventions to curtail the abuses that the NPD perpetrates on everyone in their life, including ...

What upsets a narcissist the most?

8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage They don't get their way, even if what they want is unreasonable. They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries.

What infuriates a narcissist?

Narcissists love attention, validation, and power. So what drives a narcissist crazy? Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than giving them nothing.

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

15 Ways to Make a Narcissist MiserableTactic #1. Know your enemy.Tactic #2. Call them out on their “bs”Tactic #3. Tell them, “No”Tactic #4. Hit them with new boundaries.Tactic #5. Hold them accountable.Tactic #6. Set consequences.Tactic #7. Hit them with facts and evidence.Tactic #8. Shift the spotlight onto yourself.More items...•

How do you tell a narcissist is lying?

8:0915:008 Ways To SPOT a LYING Narcissist - YouTubeYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipTo tell you to pay attention. And this one is especially telling if you're talking about somethingMoreTo tell you to pay attention. And this one is especially telling if you're talking about something that you talk about a lot right so imagine the narcissist in your life goes to their friend's.

How do you trigger a narcissistic rage?

What Triggers a Narcissist?Getting caught doing something dishonest or mean.Being held accountable for their actions.Not being the center of attention.Any form of criticism — no matter how constructive or accurate.Being exposed as a manipulator or liar.A sense of not being in control.More items...•

Will a narcissist settle out of court?

Their inability to compromise can make mediation and out-of-court settlement impossible. Because judges want to know that couples have tried to mediate their differences, the narcissist's rigidity can work against him. Making threats.

How narcissists use the courts?

False Accusations. Narcissists will often beat their opponent to court by falsely projecting their issues onto the opponent. This false accusation forces the opponent to be on the defensive and causes the court system to frown when the opponent makes a similar charge against the narcissist.

Will a narcissist settle out of court?

Their inability to compromise can make mediation and out-of-court settlement impossible. Because judges want to know that couples have tried to mediate their differences, the narcissist's rigidity can work against him. Making threats.

How do you defend yourself against a narcissist in court?

Defending Yourself Against a NarcissistExpect the Unexpected. While this might sound a bit cliche, you never know what a narcissist might try during a divorce. ... Set Clear Boundaries. ... Don't Engage in Self-Defense. ... Document Everything. ... Consult With Your Attorney.

What happens when you expose a narcissist?

Once they're exposed, a malignant narcissist will do everything in their power to tear you down when you aren't looking. They may lie about you, gossip, or spread rumors to change the social tides against you. Just remember, all of this only working against them in the long run, so don't get too down.

7 Interview Questions to Weed Out Bullies and Meanies

FacebookTweetPinLinkedInEmail I recently picked up the book, The EQ Interview: Finding Employees with High Emotional Intelligence, by Adele B. Lynn. As you know, I like tangible, actionable, “tell me what I am supposed to do right now” types of books, and this one fits the bill. Lynn defines emotional intelligence “as a person’s ability to […]

3 Interview Questions That Tactfully Weed out Narcissists

Interview questions that’ll make you stop and think. By design, the interview process is flawed. Both interviewer and interviewee want to know what the other is really like. But it’s easy to hide your flaws and make sure only the squeaky-clean best stuff shines through. Though it’s not easy to identify someone’s true character in an interview, you can … Continue reading "3 Interview ...

How to deal with a narcissistic ex?

Do not react to your narcissistic ex’s antics. Stay focused and calm. The best way for a court or mediator to realize your ex is narcissistic and see through his/her games is to let your ex uncover his/herself.

How to communicate with a narcissistic ex?

When at all possible, allow your attorney to communicate with you narcissistic ex. Do the opposite of what your narcissistic ex will do. Steer clear of mudslinging, lying, and gamesmanship. Narcissists are experts at all three. You cannot out maneuver a narcissist.

Why do narcissists put everything in writing?

Because narcissists engage in gamesmanship, manipulation and lies, whenever you deal with your narcissistic ex always put everything in writing. By having your interactions with your narcissistic ex in writing, you will be able to better show the court your ex’s lies and manipulation.

Can a narcissist lie under oath?

Proving a case against a narcissistic spouse can be complex, as narcissists may not be adverse to lying under oath, even if the truth can be easily shown. They may actually believe their lies and simply talk in circles. This is part of their need for gamesmanship and control.

Can you out maneuver a narcissist?

You cannot out maneuver a narcissist. Instead, do not give your narcissistic ex ammunition to use again you. Expect that your narcissist ex’s charms will work on the court, at least in the beginning. They worked on you in the beginning.

How to get references for a lawyer?

Ask for references even if you are sold on them in that meeting. Look at reviews on Lawyers.com and Avvo.com. Go onto a website like Nextdoor.com and ask your neighbors if anyone has ever used this lawyer and get feedback before you give them a deposit.

Do narcissists hire slimeball lawyers?

If you come into the battle with another ego-driven lawyer, the games will never stop. You want an assertive lawyer that knows how to fight yet doesn’t start the fights.

Is divorce with a narcissist emotional?

Going through a divorce can be an emotional time, but going through a divorce with a narcissist can make your head spin as you ask who is this person? The tricks you will soon find out will be pulled on you are crazy. I am writing a book that will be published soon. It’s called

Have you ever represented a person with a narcissistic personality disorder?

Have you ever represented a person with a narcissistic personality disorder? Most lawyers have represented someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, and they would have seen it and had to represent them to help them win. If the lawyer says they haven’t represented someone that was narcissistic I would question their ability to identify someone with NPD or to recognize the tactics commonly deployed.

Can a lawyer represent you in a divorce with a narcissist?

Hiring a lawyer to represent you in a divorce with a narcissist is an important decision. Not all lawyers understand narcissistic abuse or the behaviors that might be expected in a divorce. However they do understand a high conflict divorce situation, use the questions below as a guideline. Most lawyers will not give you enough time ...

How to get a lawyer to see through a narcissist's facade?

In order to get a legal professional to see through the narcissist’s facade, you need to get your spouse to act the way they do with you when they are NOT in court, or in the mediator’s office. The judge or mediator needs to observe your spouse behaving badly in order to believe you. This will provide evidence that no amount of explaining ever will.

How to win a narcissist court case?

Winning in court or in mediation requires backing up your statements with evidence. Your opinions are hearsay, but documented facts are proof. When you’re in front of a judge or mediator, pretend you’re a reporter. Lay out the evidence that provides a narrative of your ex’s character and behavior. Remember: don’t get emotional! The more you stay calm and reasonable, the more your narcissist spouse will be frustrated that they can’t get you to look bad. Your demeanor, and exposing the inconsistency between their words and their actions, will make your spouse reveal their true personality.

What is the psychology of a narcissist?

The Psychology Of The Narcissist. The Narcissist has designed a perfect exterior to cover their deep-seated sense of inadequacy. As long as you appeal to their false self, they will value and even idealize you.

How do narcissists make you look bad?

The narcissist will be careful not to directly malign you in court. Instead, they will find subtle ways to make you look bad, something along the lines of: “she tries so hard to be a good mother, but I worry that her anxiety upsets the children.” If you react to their manipulative behavior by becoming emotional or defensive, you will look like the high-strung, checked-out parent that they claim you are.

How do narcissists manipulate people?

Narcissists are experts at manipulating people by distorting reality in subtle ways: taking facts way out of context, appearing victimized when they’re actually the victimizers, presenting themselves as perfect parents even if they do very little to care for the kids. They do this to get a reaction out of you so they can then point out your “flaws”: you’re invariably some combination of anxious, emotionally reactive, paranoid, mentally ill, and impossible to please.

How to trigger a narcissistic rage?

The trick to triggering a narcissistic rage is to first make your STBX look good in front of your family law professionals. Once you have done this, and thrown them off-guard, you then ask questions to expose their problematic behavior.

Why do narcissists rage?

Being exposed, especially in front of people they want to impress, will trigger the narcissist’s rage. Family law professionals will witness a distinct personality change and have proof that the narcissist’s words don’t line up with their actions.

Why is intimacy difficult for a narcissist?

According to Dabney, sustaining intimacy as a narcissist is difficult because while on some level they crave closeness, they are also unconsciously afraid of it.

What does a narcissist crave?

According to Irwin, more than anything, a narcissist craves constant affirmation from everyone around them. This can come in the way of money, awards, press, compliments, or plain old adoration. “This is their oxygen.”.

Who said narcissism is the desire and energy that drives one’s instinct to survive?

In On Narcissism: An Introduction, Sigmund Freud argued that narcissism is the desire and energy that drives one’s instinct to survive.

Does Howard remember his lies?

Howard became highly proficient at remembering his lies. If someone came up to him today and mentioned something Howard told them 20 years ago, he says he would still remember the lie he told them. Because of this, his romantic relationships have often crumbled under the weight of his deception.

Is there consensus on narcissistic personality disorder?

Between Hope and a Hard Place. There is no consensus on narcissistic personality disorder. For every expert who believes the disorder has no cure, there is another who encourages patience and understanding.

Is the interview process flawed?

By design, the interview process is flawed. Both interviewer and interviewee want to know what the other is really like. But it's easy to hide your flaws and make sure that only the squeaky-clean best stuff shines through.

Can you identify a person's character in an interview?

Though it's not easy to identify someone's true character in an interview, you can get pretty close with the right questions. In a recent sponsored post for Quartz, Slack offers a few suggestions. Slack has formulated a list of questions that help its interviewers better know their candidates.

How do narcissists use the courts?

How Narcissists Use the Courts to Continue Their Abuse. As if the abusive marriage, relationship or business partnership wasnt bad enough, the narcissist has to escalate the matter by threatening legal action. The legal system becomes an unknowing and unwilling extension of the narcissistic arm reaching out to cause as much damage as possible.

How do narcissists beat their opponents?

False Accusations. Narcissists will often beat their opponent to court by falsely projecting their issues onto the opponent. This false accusation forces the opponent to be on the defensive and causes the court system to frown when the opponent makes a similar charge against the narcissist.

What happens if a narcissist misses the other parent?

Child custody laws are there for the best interest of the child and if the child misses the other parent, they should be allowed to speak with them. Senseless motions/hearings. In order to delay the process, the narcissist will file senseless motions, excessive hearing, and multiple postponements.

Do narcissists like to find loopholes?

Narcissists love to find loopholes in the law and use it their favor. However, if their opponent were to utilize a loophole against them, the attacks would be ruthless. For the narcissist, this is a one-way street where only they can dodge an issue. Jury Tampering.

Do narcissists call police?

Narcissists will incite and encourage their victims to act irrationally and then call the police on them. While technically this is not entrapment because it isnt a law enforcement officer doing the act, the victim will none the less feel trapped.

Is the interview process flawed?

By design, the interview process is flawed. Both interviewer and interviewee want to know what the other is really like. But it's easy to hide your flaws and make sure that only the squeaky-clean best stuff shines through.

Can you identify a person's character in an interview?

Though it's not easy to identify someone's true character in an interview, you can get pretty close with the right questions. In a recent sponsored post for Quartz, Slack offers a few suggestions. Slack has formulated a list of questions that help its interviewers better know their candidates.

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