when familiy members fued of power of attorney

by Jaqueline Schumm 4 min read

A family feud can quickly ensue due to feelings of loss of control. To some, once power of attorney has been handed over to a brother or sister, they may feel a sense of rejection or insult, as if they were considered untrustworthy. Here are three common issues that can result in interfamilial strife, along with tips on how to avoid them.

Regardless of when the document takes effect, all powers under a POA end upon the principal's death. (The only exception is with a non-durable POA, which ends if/when the principal is deemed incompetent.) Once the principal has died, the agent loses all ability to act in their stead both medically and financially.

Full Answer

Can a family member be a power of attorney?

While a power of attorney agent should be someone close and trustworthy, choosing a family member for such a task can be risky as it often leads to conflicts. The trick to having a child or relative as an attorney-in-fact is taking all of the benefits and drawbacks into consideration.

Are family members exercising undue influence to obtain power of attorney?

While it is important to ensure no one is exerting undue influence on a senior in order to obtain POA, many disgruntled family members have accused legitimately named agents of taking advantage of their frail or confused parents.

Who can act on my behalf with a power of attorney?

Designating someone to act on your behalf using a power of attorney (POA) document is a serious decision. While POA can be given to anyone, individuals usually choose a trusted family member to handle the responsibly of making health and/or financial decisions for them.

What is a power of attorney for finances?

A power of attorney for finances is a document that appoints a person — or sometimes an institution such as a bank or trust company — to handle someone’s financial affairs.

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What does reassuring siblings mean?

By reassuring all siblings that they matter, their involvement is desired, their concerns will be heard, much is done to alleviate the responses of suspicion and resentment that can lead to family feuds. Reassurance that the power of attorney selection was not a family take-over is really what other siblings need.

How to avoid sibling rivalry?

To avoid the old sibling rivalry game, recognize that caring for an aging parent must become a team effort, regardless of who holds an empowering legal document. In some cases care is a 24/7 job. Siblings need to work together, assuming new roles that take advantage of their personal strengths.

What does it mean to have a power of attorney for an elderly parent?

Gaining power of attorney of an elderly parent means families need to work together to care for their loved ones to manage the situation with as little stress as possible.

What is a caregiving journal?

Create a caregiving journal for all to use. It will record up-to-date information regarding care with a personal touch that can keep a family connected. Entries can be technical, recording things like blood pressure, or they can be personal, such as a funny anecdote of something the parent did or said.

Why do families feud?

A family feud can quickly ensue due to feelings of loss of control.

How to avoid confusion and arguments in a family meeting?

Avoid confusion and arguments by creating a printed agenda for each family member attending. This keeps the meeting focused.

Do siblings have to be caregivers for their parents?

Once the transition must be made to become caregivers for parents, sibling relationships must shift, leaving behind the old challenges. Brothers and sisters must recognize that although they share the same parent, their relationships with that parent were each unique.

What does it mean when a sibling is not named?

The sibling who has been named must understand the range of responsibilities they now have. The siblings who have not been named must and respect the arrangement, while, as Camargo puts it, “being cognizant of the potential for mismanagement of affairs”.

What is a power of attorney?

First off, power of attorney is a legal designation that gives an individual (or individuals) the authority to act on behalf of someone else, typically when that third party is unable to make decisions for themselves for reasons of ill health.

Why is it important to know who gets a power of attorney?

Deciding who gets the power of attorney is an important step for parents looking to organize their estate and plan for a future without them. This can be a complex process for many families, especially when there are numerous relatives involved.

When is a power of attorney in effect?

Power of attorney authority is only in effect while the person who has granted the authority is alive. Power of attorney authority is only in effect while the person who has granted the authority is alive. Once that person passes away, the executor of the estate then assumes responsibility of managing the estate through the probate process.

Is a power of attorney a fiduciary duty?

It’s important to remember that the power of attorney is a fiduciary obligation, meaning the person who holds it must act in the best interests of the parent, not their own, and abide by certain rules that ensure this. Still, things can get dicey if there isn’t proper trust among siblings, ...

Can a power of attorney be held by the same person?

These are two very different roles, though they can be held by the same person. The individual (s) are most often adult children of the person granting the power, although a person of sound mind can assign the roles to anyone who agrees in writing. There are different varieties of power of attorney. The most common are general power of attorney and ...

How to prevent disputes between siblings?

Name the children as joint or co-agents —The easiest way to prevent disputes between siblings is to make them all agents and divide responsibilities. Revoke a power of attorney —If the parent isn’t incapacitated, they can revoke the power of attorney to put an end to disputes between siblings. Take power of attorney away from the agent —When ...

Why do siblings argue?

The most common reasons for sibling disputes include the following: A sibling is questioning the validity of the POA document and the agent’s intentions.

Why is the rivalry between the siblings worse?

An ongoing rivalry between the siblings became worse because of the POA and the shift in power. Other children don’t want to accept the principal’s wishes that the agent has to fulfill, even if they don’t like the outcome (common when it comes to selling real estate)

What happens when a parent appoints a POA?

If a parent decides to appoint one of their children as a POA agent, it can lead to conflicts between family ...

What is a POA?

A POA is a legal document through which one person—the principal—gives another individual—the agent—the power to make important decisions and act on their behalf.

What happens if a sibling abuses a power of attorney?

If a person suspects their sibling is abusing a power of attorney, they can inform the rest of the family and sign a petition to file a lawsuit. If the abuse gets out of hand, the family can press criminal charges against the agent. The penalties for the abuse of power of attorney include damages and imprisonment.

What are the legal powers of an attorney in fact?

Some of the legal authorities that an attorney-in-fact has include: Filing taxes. Managing retirement accounts. Handling bank accounts. Signing checks and documents. Making decisions about the principal’s health. Selling property and assets.

What are the different types of power of attorney?

The four types of power of attorney are limited, general, durable and springing durable. Limited and general POAs end when the principal becomes incapacitated, so they’re not often used by older adults when planning for the end of life. A durable POA lasts even after a person becomes incapacitated, so is more commonly used by seniors.

What is a POA in 2021?

Last Updated: July 16, 2021. A power of attorney (POA) can be an important element of planning for your elderly parent’s future. It allows another person to take action on your parent’s behalf, ensuring bills get paid and medical decisions can be made in the unfortunate circumstance that your elderly parent is unable to do those things on their own ...

What is the best document to prepare for an aging loved one?

There are two separate documents you’ll likely need as part of comprehensive planning for your aging loved one. The first is a financial POA , which provides for decisions regarding finances and for the ability to pay bills, manage accounts, and take care of investments. The second is an Advance Healthcare Directive, which is also known as a “living will” or a “power of attorney for healthcare.” This document outlines who will be an agent for healthcare decisions, as well as providing some general guidelines for healthcare decision-making.

How many witnesses do you need to sign a letter of attorney?

A notary public or attorney must witness your loved one signing the letter of attorney, and in some states, you’ll need two witnesses. The chosen agent must be over 18 and fully competent, meaning they understand the implications of their decision. When filling out the form, the parent must specify exactly which powers are transferring to the agent.

Why do you need a power of attorney for an elderly parent?

Common Reasons to Seek Power of Attorney for Elderly Parents. Financial Difficulties: A POA allows you to pay the bills and manage the finances for parents who are having difficulty staying on top of their financial obligations.

How to get a POA?

When you’re ready to set up the POA, follow these steps: 1 Talk to Your Parents: Discuss what they need in a POA and what their wishes are when it comes to their finances and health care. You must also confirm their consent and make sure they agree with everything discussed. 2 Talk to a Lawyer: Everyone who gets a POA has different needs and the laws are different in each state. It’s important to get legal advice so that your parent’s wishes are taken into consideration and the document is legal. 3 Create the Necessary Documentation: Write down all the clauses you need that detail how the agent can act on the principal’s behalf. This ensures your parent’s wishes are known and will be respected. Although you can find POA templates on the internet, they are generic forms that may not stand up to legal scrutiny and probably won’t have all the clauses you require. 4 Execute the Agreement: Sign and notarize the document. Requirements for notarization and witnesses differ, so make sure you check what’s required in your state.

What are the drawbacks of a power of attorney?

The biggest drawback to a power of attorney is that an agent may act in a way that the principal would disapprove of. This may be unintentional if they are ignorant of the principal’s wishes, or it may be intentional because they’re acting in bad faith.

How to take power of attorney away from someone?

If you wish to take power of attorney away from someone due to abuse or negligence, review the document with your lawyer and follow these steps: Consult the Principal — If they’re of sound mind, explain your concerns about the Agent to the Principal. They can remove or change their Agent verbally, but it’s preferable if they fill out ...

What are the rights of a power of attorney?

With power of attorney, your Agent can legally sign documents, make healthcare decisions, and perform financial transactions on your behalf. Your Agent is legally obligated to act in your best interest.

What to do if a principal refuses to revoke power of attorney?

An attorney can also work with experts to determine the Principal’s mental competence, and serve as a reliable support in what can be a difficult experience ...

What are the different types of power of attorney?

There are two main types of power of attorney: 1 Financial POA — A financial power of attorney is the standard POA form. It gives your Agent the authority to make financial decisions on your behalf. 2 Medical POA — A healthcare or medical power of attorney grants the Agent you appoint the authority to make decisions about your care if you are unable to do so.

What to do if a power of attorney refuses to stand down?

Prepare for Court — If the Agent refuses to stand down, and a competent Principal refuses to revoke the power of attorney, you will need to go to court. Your lawyer can petition the court to set aside the power of attorney and transfer guardianship or conservatorship to someone else while the case is ongoing. ...

What is a POA form?

There are two main types of power of attorney: Financial POA — A financial power of attorney is the standard POA form. It gives your Agent the authority to make financial decisions on your behalf. Medical POA — A healthcare or medical power of attorney grants the Agent you appoint the authority to make decisions about your care if you are unable ...

What happens if an agent refuses to stand down?

In the event that the Agent refuses, the role falls to the Alternate Agent named on the document. If no Alternate Agent is named, you will need to make a court application for a guardian and/or conservator to take care of the Principal’s interests. Prepare for Court — If the Agent refuses to stand down, and a competent Principal refuses ...

How Does Power of Attorney Work?

Power of Attorney works by allowing someone to make important decisions on your behalf, should you become incapacitated or medically unable to do so. The purpose of officially nominating a POA is to ensure that someone can act on your behalf in a timely manner should they ever need to.

What Are the Limitations of Power of Attorney?

While a Power of Attorney has robust legal rights when it comes to managing the affairs of the Principal, there are certain limitations to be aware of. These limitations are in place to help regulate the role of POA:

Common Questions About Power of Attorney Rights

The Power of Attorney rights and limitations exist to ensure both parties understand exactly what the role entails. However, there are a few gray areas that may require more context to understand:

What to do if there is no POA?

If there is no local service listed, contact your state’s Attorney General , who will either have their own abuse unit or be able to direct you to a local county investigator.

What is SB 2794?

The magnitude of the problem of power of attorney abuse, however, is suggested by federal action (SB 2794), aimed at protecting seniors from predatory practices. This is among the first federal legislation of its kind ever to protect the vulnerable elderly.

Where to turn for help with power of attorney abuse?

If you are dealing with power of attorney abuse, there are a few key places to turn for help: There are crisis hotlines, usually in the Blue Pages of a phone directory, for reporting suspected abuse against vulnerable groups.

Is power of attorney abuse justified?

As with many forms of abuse, power of attorney abuse is often excused or justified: “I’m entitled to it. ‘When’ doesn’t matter.”. And as with every form of abuse, it is wrong, and often won’t stop, until someone recognizes the signs of abuse and does something about it. But unlike many forms of abuse, power of attorney abuse masked by ...

Can a power of attorney be used for aging?

A popular law firm claim is that most aging issues can be tackled using a power of attorney. However, a power of attorney is not a perfect solution in every case. In fact, estimates are that, of the total number of abuse cases against seniors, 44% of cases are financial. Of these cases of financial abuse, over 70% are estimated to be committed by family members. This situation often results from parents depending on the least reliable family member. Someone who is busy, or moved away, or has diverse interests of their own may not be able to serve as a POA agent.

Can a power of attorney make you a silent prisoner?

But unlike many forms of abuse, power of attorney abuse masked by the apparent authority of a power of attorney may make of its victim a silent prisoner. Trapped by age, health, and economy, many people are literally imprisoned by the person they legally asked for help: agents empowered to make life and death decisions under a POA.

Do power of attorney templates need periodic review?

In order to keep trust in the instrument, there also needs to be verification. Thus, many groups now use power of attorney templates, including some third-party templates, that require periodic review. Disclosing this fact well in advance to anyone agreeing to serve as a personal representative often keeps expectations, and professionalism, at a much higher mark. Perhaps just as importantly, the personal representative realizes they have no reason to feel isolated, and are encouraged to seek help if they feel in over their heads.

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Common Factors in Deciding Who to Name as Poa

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There are several different practical matters that factor into deciding who is best equipped to serve as POA. For some parents, the decision is cut and dried. Many automatically put their faith in their oldest child or choose the son or daughter who lives closest. Taking each child’s individual skills and levels of trustworthiness an…
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Potential Problems Naming Joint Agents Or Co-Agents as Poa

  • Adult children typically don’t want to take control of a parent’s medical or financial decisions unless they must. Serving as a loved one’s POA is not an easy or simple job. Still, feelings are easily hurt when one child is chosen over another for the job. Regardless of whether the parent makes this decision rationally and shares their reasoning, the implication is that non-POA childre…
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The Poa Decision and Family Aftermath

  • Even if the appointment of POA is smooth and didn’t involve much fuss initially, that doesn’t mean bickering isn’t a possibility once the agent officially begins managing a parent’s affairs. Siblings who disagree with a POA’s actions can cause strife within the family and even create huge legal challenges for one another. Below are a few of the mos...
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