what to say to an ex when hiring an attorney

by Araceli Langosh 6 min read

How do you write an Esq letter to an attorney?

Use the courtesy title "Esquire" when writing concerning a legal matter. Traditionally, this courtesy title is used only if you're writing the attorney about a case for which they are providing representation. If you're mailing your letter, write the attorney's full name on the envelope, followed by a comma and the abbreviation "Esq."

How can I find a good lawyer to hire?

Any lawyer would greatly appreciate a glowingly positive review on their Yelp business page, or on Google. It bumps up their ratings, and potential clients can see your heartfelt message, increasing their confidence in the attorney's legal prowess.

What happens when you say you hired a lawyer?

Once you say you’ve hired a lawyer, no one will talk to you about it further, they HAVE to go through your attorney. Lots of people don’t understand that part and thought I was just being mean/punitive when I refused to explain anything to them while explaining the process to their coworkers (who did not have lawyers).

What to say to a divorce lawyer in a message?

Messages for a Divorce Lawyer. Divorce is such a stressful time in anyone's life. I can't even begin to quantify the ways in which your legal aid has made my life easier. Thank you so much for your efforts. I am grateful to have you in my corner while battling my soon-to-be ex in court.

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What do you say when talking to a lawyer?

Tips for Talking to an AttorneyAlways be as honest and candid as possible about the facts of your case. ... Ask questions if you don't understand something that your attorney mentions or explains to you.Approach an attorney about your case as soon as you think you may need one.More items...•

Can my lawyer talk to my ex?

The Attorney Client Relationship That is prohibited. An attorney may represent only one person in a family law case, such as a divorce or child custody case. Failure to do that is usually a conflict of interest. That means what is good for one person might be a bad thing for the other person.

What are 3 questions you should ask a lawyer before hiring?

Below are ten questions to ask your potential lawyer.How long have you practiced law? ... What type of cases do you generally handle? ... Who is your typical client? ... How many cases have you represented that were similar to mine?More items...•

What should you not say to a lawyer?

Five things not to say to a lawyer (if you want them to take you..."The Judge is biased against me" Is it possible that the Judge is "biased" against you? ... "Everyone is out to get me" ... "It's the principle that counts" ... "I don't have the money to pay you" ... Waiting until after the fact.

Should I tell my ex I got a lawyer?

Absolutely you should. Custody battles are quite nasty. If you are concerned about finances, you have options. Some attorneys take payment plans, your ex may be required to pay some of your fees, and you may qualify for legal aid - you...

How do I prepare for an attorney interview?

If you are interviewing virtually, all of these tips apply.Do your research. Lawyers are known for being good researchers. ... Be presentable and dress your best. ... Come prepared to ask questions. ... Be personable and show enthusiasm. ... Be genuine. ... Promptly send a thank-you note.

What are good questions to ask lawyers?

Questions to Ask Your Lawyer During a Consultation1) What kind of experience do you have with similar cases?2) What would be your strategy for my case?3) Are there any alternatives to going to court?4) What are my possible outcomes?5) Who will actually handle my case?6) What is my role in my case?More items...•

Why should we hire you answer for lawyers?

Example: "I understand that you need someone who can maintain strong interpersonal relationships with several different clients. I believe I'm the right fit for this role, because I care a lot about the personal outcome of my clients and do my due diligence in researching their issue to offer solutions.

What's the difference between attorney and lawyer?

Attorney vs Lawyer: Comparing Definitions Lawyers are people who have gone to law school and often may have taken and passed the bar exam. Attorney has French origins, and stems from a word meaning to act on the behalf of others. The term attorney is an abbreviated form of the formal title 'attorney at law'.

Why do lawyers drag out cases?

Their goal is to drag the case on and pay out as little as possible. This earns more money for the attorney, who gets paid by the hour, and also can help frustrate the plaintiff into making a better settlement for them out of desperation.

Should you tell your lawyer everything?

It's almost always advisable to tell your lawyer the whole truth about your case, even if you've committed a crime. Giving your lawyer all the facts helps them craft the best defense by raising reasonable doubt. Even when a client admits guilt, there are usually many mitigating circumstances that can come into play.

What can a lawyer tell you?

A good lawyer can tell you what will be to your tactical advantage, including how to give any opposing side more than enough rope to tie their own hands.

Why do lawyers find out when they bring in a lawyer?

The thing is, if you’re bringing in an lawyer, they’re going to find that out because the lawyer is going to contact them! So this is about how to give them a heads-up about that so that they don’t learn it for the first time when the lawyer makes contact. The idea is to keep things sounding as un-hostile and as un-adversarial as you can (within reason).

What is the job of a lawyer?

For most lawyers, their job is to keep their clients *out* of court. Litigators are a minority.

Where to report pay stuff?

With pay stuff, you can often report it to your state department of labor and don’t need to hire an attorney! You can talk to your state DoL about whether or not they can keep your identity confidential.

Do you need to view everything you do through an adversarial lens?

Once you have brought in a lawyer then you’re right, “amicable” is out the window, you do need to view everything you do through a more adversarial lens. But, frankly, a lot of people think they’re more clever than they are, judges are, mostly, reasonable people and they understand nuance exists.

Can I speak to an attorney about a whistleblower violation?

As someone who currently HAS a lawyer handling an employment discrimination case (whistleblower violations, anyone?), I can verify that my attorney’s advice is to speak with an attorney BEFORE ever even mentioning it to your employer. The attorney will tell you what phrasing to use, how to handle the employer if the s&it hits the fan and will be able to best advise you.

Can you blindside an employer?

Yes! Generally , determining whether to blindside your employer should be a strategic choice, made in consultation with a competent and skilled attorney. It shouldn’t be an emotional choice.

What to do if your lawyer asks you to write a letter?

If your lawyer has asked that you write him a letter giving your consent to his requesting documents on your behalf , you should ask your lawyer to write the letter for you. This kind of letter may need to meet certain criteria to be effective and your lawyer is the one who will know what the letter needs to include. Your only role should be to revise and sign the letter once you have received a draft.

What to do if your lawyer is not working?

If you are concerned your lawyer is not working on your case, write him a polite but firm letter explaining your concerns. If you feel more comfortable emailing or calling him, that would be fine as well. You are under no obligation to express your concerns in a formal letter.

How to terminate a relationship with an attorney?

If you begin your letter with a paragraph stating that you would like to terminate your relationship with your attorney, write one or two paragraphs that explain why you are unhappy with him. Wherever possible, refer to specific examples.

How to write a letter to an attorney?

To write a letter to your attorney, start by writing your address, and, if applicable, your email and cell number in the upper left corner of the page. Under this information, include the date and your attorney’s name and address. Finally, include your case number or your full name.

How to keep a letter from being lost?

Keep a copy of the letter. Print an extra copy of the letter to keep for your personal records. That way, if the letter gets lost in the mail or your attorney denies having received it, you will have proof that you sent it.

What to write in a question to an attorney?

If you are writing your attorney with a question, provide your attorney with the necessary context for understanding why you are asking your question. For example, "The reason I am asking this question is that I'm planning to leave the United States next month to care for my mother who is sick."

How to communicate with an attorney?

When you hire an attorney, you will need to communicate with him frequently so that he obtains all of the necessary evidence to presenting a strong case on your behalf. Generally, your attorney will reach out to you when he needs information and give you specific instructions for how to respond. However, there are certain occasions in which you may wish to contact your attorney with a question or request. While you should always choose the method of communication that makes you feel most comfortable (i.e. by phone, email, in person), you may prefer to write your attorney a formal letter to highlight the importance of your message.

What celebrities are conflicting out attorneys?

You might have heard of certain celebrities doing what they call conflicting out attorneys from their divorce cases. Heidi Klum, the supermodel got in the news recently for doing this. What people do is they go out and meet with attorneys to have a confidential conversation with them and that causes the attorney to be unable to represent the spouse of the person with whom they met.

What do you need to do at the first sign of divorce?

What you need to do is at the first sign of divorce, you need to go and meet with an attorney. That will make that person unable to meet with your spouse, and you will have, in effect, reserved them for your use down the road. Now I’m reluctant to say this to you, but I think I need to.

Is it good to have an attorney on both sides of a divorce?

I don’t think that it’s generally a good approach for people to take. In fact, I think having an excellent attorney on both sides of the divorce case probably facilitates reaching a prompt and equitable settlement. When you eliminate the good lawyers from the potential of being involved in the case, I think that sometimes causes things to be harder to get worked out.

How to feel comfortable with an attorney?

You should feel comfortable from the beginning of your attorney-client relationship that you will be able to have regular communications with your counsel. Make sure that you exchange contact information and agree on the ways that you will stay in touch.

What should a lawyer outline?

Lawyers should outline the possible ways to handle a case and then explain why they have chosen a particular strategy, including the pros and cons.

What is the importance of having a lawyer?

Getting a lawyer with the right legal background is essential, but it is also important to know whether your attorney has experience with the judges who will likely preside over your case. If yours is a criminal matter, it is important to know if your lawyer knows the local prosecutors. This courtroom experience can greatly enhance your lawyer’s ability to evaluate the likely outcomes in your case and give you advice that you can rely on.

Why is it important to choose the right lawyer?

Choosing the right lawyer is a very important decision—whether you were in a car accident, have a medical malpractice claim, or find yourself the target of a criminal investigation. Referrals from friends or co-workers can be great, but you need to do your homework to make sure you have the right attorney for the job.

What should a lawyer review with their clients before trial?

Every lawyer should review with their clients the possibility of a negotiated resolution prior to trial. In criminal matters, for example, you may be able to get a good plea bargain. In civil cases, your lawyer might propose mediation, a settlement negotiation process involving a neutral third-party.

How to discuss case strategy?

In discussing case strategy, your lawyer should give you an estimate of how much time it will take to get to a resolution. Keep in mind that your lawyer does not control the pace of the process and cannot make any promises about when it will be over.

What is a conflict in a lawyer?

If the lawyer’s representation of prior or existing clients would limit the attorney’s ability to represent you, there is likely a conflict. For example, if you want to sue a hospital that the potential lawyer regularly represents, there would be a conflict. A conflict might also arise if the attorney you are interviewing has already been hired by ...

How to address an attorney?

Generally, you'll address an attorney just as you would anyone else. However, you'll typically use a more formal title, such as "Esquire," if you're writing to an attorney in their professional capacity. When in doubt, err on the side of formality. You can always ask the attorney how they prefer to be addressed.

What is an esquire?

Tip: "Esquire" is a courtesy title that only has significance in the legal field. Don't use it at all when addressing an attorney socially, either in writing or in person.

What do you call an attorney with more than one degree?

If the attorney has more than one degree, list the abbreviations after their name in order from highest to lowest. For example, if John Justice has a JD and an MBA, you would list his name as "John Justice, JD, MBA.". Tip: Even though JD stands for "Juris Doctorate," a JD is not a doctoral degree.

What to use when addressing a wedding invitation to John Justice?

For example, if you were addressing a wedding invitation to John Justice, who is an attorney, and his wife Jane, you would use "Mr. and Ms. John and Jane Justice" or "Mr. and Mrs. John Justice."

What is the alternative to "esquire"?

Try "Attorney at Law" as an alternative to "Esquire. " If using the courtesy title "Esquire" feels stuffy to you, "Attorney at Law" also conveys the same level of honor and respect. Instead of placing it after the attorney's name, use two lines with "Attorney at Law" directly underneath the attorney's full name.

When to use "JD" or "Esquire"?

Add "JD" after an attorney's name in an academic setting. Even if the attorney is licensed to practice law , if they're writing an article in a law journal or working as a law professor, you'll typically use "JD" instead of "Esquire.".

Do you have to include JD in a lawyer's address?

Leave out any designation when addressing a lawyer and their spouse socially. Unlike doctors, if you're writing to a lawyer and their spouse socially, don't include either "JD" or "Esq." to indicate that they're an attorney. You also don't have to order their names in any particular way, since attorneys don't have any particular social rank the way doctors do.

How to get a good lawyer to take your case?

“If you want to improve your chances of securing the best lawyer to take your case, you need to prepare before you meet them,” advises attorney Stephen Babcock. “Get your story, facts, and proof together well before your first meeting.” This not only ensures that you understand your own needs, but it helps a good lawyer to ascertain whether he or she can actually help you. “We want the best clients too. Proving you’re organized and reliable helps us.”

Why is it important to approach a lawyer with honesty?

“ Winning cases can be lost because of a client who lies or exaggerates just as easily as because of a lawyer who tells the client what the client wants to hear instead of what is true.” So when dealing with attorneys, don’t just look for honesty—be honest.

Should a lawyer stay out of court?

In fact, a lawyer should try to stay out of court. “In my experience, a good lawyer always finds every opportunity to keep a case from being decided by a judge, and only relents on trying a case before the bench when all alternatives have been exhausted,” attorney, Jason Cruz says.

Do you need a lawyer to write a demand letter?

On reading a demand letter, the other person will often say, “this isn’t worth the trouble” and they quickly settle. But here’s a secret from Knight: You don’t need a lawyer to write a demand letter. You can do it yourself. Just make it look as formal as possible, and you may find your dispute goes away—no charge to you.

Is divorce hard?

It’s not as hard as you might think, according to attorney Randall M. Kessler, author of Divorce: Protect Yourself, Your Kids and Your Future. “Shop around and trust your instincts,” he advises. “Does the lawyer listen to you? Do they explain things in a way you can understand? And are they willing to discuss fees and costs? The person you hire will need to be someone you trust and believe in, so be sure you feel very good about them from the start.”

Do most cases settle outside the courtroom?

In choosing your attorney and your plan of action in resolving a dispute, it’s important to consider that despite what you see on television, most cases never see the inside of a courtroom. Typically, they’re settled outside the courtroom because of the time and expense involved, according to attorney Darren Heitner, author of How to Play the Game: What Every Sports Attorney Needs to Know.

What to do if your lawyer works for another firm?

If your lawyer works for a firm under other attorneys, it might be a good idea to send a copy of the thank-you letter or note to their boss. You never know what it could do to improve their chances of moving up in the company.

What to send a lawyer for the holidays?

Sending your lawyer a sweet holiday card or letter can really help to brighten their season. Many lawyers work hard through the holiday season (especially family law attorneys, due to custody disputes that flare up during the holidays), and they’ll be touched to know you are thinking of them.

What to say in a thank you letter to a judge?

Thank you for your help, determination, courage, analytical skills, and hard work. I appreciate that you didn't give up on me or my case and that you arranged mediation to resolve the matter quickly out of court.

What to say to a buyer on an estate?

Thank you for your service, hard work, and time spent handling the purchase of my estate. I look forward to seeing you manage the property on my behalf. Many thanks for your continued support and cooperation.

What to say in a thank you card?

I am so appreciative of the work you did that benefited not only me but my family as well. You don't know how much your passion impacts the lives of others. Thank you for your time.

Why is it important to have a lawyer?

Lawyers are important advocates that help us through the most challenging moments of our lives. Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out what to say or write when you want to express how much you appreciate your legal counsel's efforts in handling your case.

Is divorce easy?

Divorce is never easy, but with your help, I was able to get through it. Through your hard work and dedication, we were able to reach the best possible custody arrangement for our family.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

How to deal with divorce issues?

While it may seem difficult, coming to an agreement with your spouse can alleviate a lot of the issues of divorce and it could also save a lot of ugliness down the line. If you have kids and common friends, it's likely that you and your spouse may be in each other's lives for years, even decades to come. Those interactions aren't going to be made easier if one or both of you hired some hard-nosed lawyers and caused each other pain. If you can work it out, you and your spouse can each part ways without feeling taken advantage of by the other.

What happens if my spouse meets with an attorney?

If your spouse meets with an attorney first, it could create a conflict of interest that would not allow them to represent you. (Incidentally, this was a tactic that Tony used when mulling over divorce with Carmella in The Sopranos .) Secondly, attending several consultations can help you better understand the process, your rights, and help you to manage your expectations. Thirdly, meeting with several attorneys enables you to weed out the ones who aren't a great fit.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

What to do if mediation doesn't work?

If mediation doesn’t work, they can take their case before an arbiter, and agree, in writing, to abide by whatever decision the arbiter makes in arbitration. If you have received a “lawyer letter,” consider ADR as a next step for conflict resolution.

What is the best way to resolve a dispute?

There are several Alternative Dispute Resolution (“ADR”) techniques parties can use to resolve disputes. If the parties cannot directly negotiate a compromise, they can engage in good faith mediation to resolve the dispute. If mediation doesn’t work, they can take their case before an arbiter, and agree, in writing, to abide by whatever decision the arbiter makes in arbitration.

How to be reasonable in a conversation?

Be reasonable. This involves taking positions that you feel others can relate to, understand, or agree with. Being reasonable also involves giving others the benefit of the doubt, when possible.

How to avoid miscommunication?

Much of human miscommunication involves one party or the other (or both) refusing to listen to the other side (or each other). Let the person with whom you’re speaking know that you have heard what they have said, and that you understand their position. Then, focus your contribution to the discussion on the specific issues of disagreement at the heart of the conversation. Don’t just stubbornly repeat your own talking points; doing so implicitly communicates that you are not interested in listening to any voice but your own.

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