things to take or tell your attorney when discussing seperation or divorce

by Hayley Brakus MD 4 min read

If you are separating to see if you can fix your marriage, it’s important to discuss expectations on each other such as fidelity, how you will communicate or work on your marriage. Also, matters relating to how you will talk to the children and take care of them during the separation needs to be discussed.

Main Issues to Discuss with Your Divorce Attorney
  • Issues Relating to Children. ____ Child support. ...
  • Property Issues. ____ Equity in homestead. ...
  • Spousal Support Issues. ____ Entitlement to support. ...
  • Other Issues. ____ Domestic violence. ...
  • Documents to Have Ready.
Nov 24, 2018

Full Answer

What are some secrets your divorce lawyer might not want you to know?

Nov 24, 2018 · Divorce is complicated -- legally, financially, and emotionally. Dividing up property a couple has acquired throughout their marriage (also known as marital property) can be one of the most contentious aspects of divorce.Luckily, divorce attorneys can help alleviate some of your legal and financial stresses by advocating for a division of property that works in your favor.

What to do if you are considering a legal separation?

Nov 23, 2018 · Luckily, divorce attorneys can help alleviate some of your legal and financial stresses by advocating for a division of property that works in your favor. If you've decided to retain legal counsel, you can help save your divorce attorney time (and save yourself some money) by gathering important legal and financial documents together before the initial …

What questions should I ask my divorce lawyer?

Aug 21, 2017 · You should not put a lot of pressure on yourself when you visit with your lawyer for the first time, but some documents can be helpful to your new attorney in assessing the issues in your case. Remember the military adage, “Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.”. While the documents can seem personal, you should feel comfortable enough …

What do I need to know before separating from my husband?

Sep 06, 2021 · Contact information for your spouse such as an address, landline/cell phone number and an email address. Your spouse’s employer information, such as address and phone number. Your spouse’s length of employment and salary. Where to serve your spouse with divorce papers if the attorney will be doing so.

What should you not do during separation?

5 Mistakes To Avoid During Your SeparationKeep it private.Don't leave the house.Don't pay more than your share.Don't jump into a rebound relationship.Don't put off the inevitable.Oct 19, 2016

What should I do to prepare for separation?

What to Do to Prepare for Separation or DivorceFind an Experienced Divorce Lawyer. ... Be Certain You Want to Separate or Divorce. ... Gather All Necessary Financial Documents. ... Develop a List of Your Assets and Debts. ... Carefully Consider Your Goals for Child Custody. ... Don't Live Like You're Single. ... Take Household Inventory.More items...•Jun 29, 2018

What should I ask for in my divorce?

Considerations to Make About What to Ask for in a Divorce SettlementMarital Home. ... Life Insurance and Health Insurance Policies. ... Division of Debt. ... Private School Tuition and College Tuition. ... Family Heirlooms and Jewelry. ... Parenting Time. ... Retirement Funds.

What are your legal rights when separating?

The right to stay in your home unless a court order excludes it. The right to ask the court to enable you to return to your home (if you have moved out) The right to know of any repossession action taken out by your mortgage lender. The right to join any mortgage possession proceedings taken out by your lender.Mar 20, 2020

What is the first thing to do in a separation?

How to File for Separation Legally—in 7 StepsStep 1: Confirm Your State's Residency Requirements. ... Step 2: Move to File for Separation Petition. ... Step 3: Move to File Legal Separation Agreement. ... Step 4: Serve Your Spouse the Separation Agreement. ... Step 5: Settle Unresolved Issues. ... Step 6: Sign and Notarize the Agreement.More items...•Apr 9, 2021

How do I separate from my husband in the same house?

Dividing a house to live separately Some couples want to divide their house whilst living together but separated. This isn't strictly necessary but you can divide the house so one of you uses the dining room as your lounge or you can agree on kitchen use times so that you can stay out of the other's way.Nov 16, 2020

What are the five stages of divorce?

There are two processes in divorce. The emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

How do you play dirty in a divorce?

Dirty Divorce TricksLeave Him With Nothing. A female client is contemplating leaving the marital home. ... Cancel the Credit Cards. ... Get Him Fired. ... Cutting Off the Utilities. ... Tell the Paramour's Spouse. ... Move out of State with the Kids. ... Clean out the Bank Accounts. ... File an Accusation of Child Abuse.More items...

How should a woman prepare for a divorce?

9 Critical Steps Women Should Take To Prepare For DivorceGather your financial records. ... Open a Post Office Box. ... Start putting money away for legal and other professional fees. ... Open a new checking and savings account. ... Open new credit cards in your name only. ... Get a copy of your credit report.

Why would you get a legal separation instead of a divorce?

People usually get separated when they are unsure if they want to get divorced, when they want to work on the relationship but they require time apart, when they still want some of the advantages of being married and when religious, cultural or ethical values reject divorce.Oct 20, 2020

What are the pros and cons of a legal separation?

Here's why some people appreciate this option:Not Necessarily Permanent. In a relationship that's struggling, divorce may seem like a step too far. ... Peace of Mind. ... Make Possible Future Divorce Simpler. ... Insurance Coverage. ... Tax Benefits. ... Immediately Goes Into Effect. ... May Not Get Remarried. ... Financial Ties Remain.

How do you live in the same house when separated?

Couples who are separated in the same home should consider the following steps to establish their separation:1) Living Separate and Apart. ... 2) Separate Responsibilities. ... 3) Create a Custody Schedule. ... 4) Socialization. ... 5) Memorializing Your Separation.More items...•Apr 6, 2020

Starting the Divorce Process: Related Resources

If you're just starting the divorce process or planning to do so, you may feel overwhelmed by all of the steps required. If you also have children, the process can be much more emotionally draining. The following resources will help you make sense of your state's divorce laws and the divorce process in general.

If You're Getting Divorced, Don't Go it Alone: An Attorney Can Help

After determining which documents to show your divorce attorney at that first consultation, you'll want to find the right attorney. But just because a lawyer has a lot of experience and great credentials doesn't mean they're necessarily the right fit, since style and personalities vary widely.

Who is Jason Crowley?

Jason Crowley is a divorce financial strategist, personal finance expert, and entrepreneur. Jason is the managing partner of Divorce Capital Planning, co-founder of Divorce Mortgage Advisors, and founder of Survive Divorce.

Do you have to disclose your finances during divorce?

If you’re in the dark about your finances, that’s okay. You and your spouse will be required to complete financial affidavits (disclosures) as part of the divorce process. The goal at this point is simply to begin identifying the puzzle pieces.

Do you need a financial analyst for divorce?

Depending on the complexity of your divorce, you may need a lot of documentation to give to your lawyer or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst . The more organized you are upfront will not only save you time and stress, but it will also save you money as well.

What is an exhibit A on a grant deed?

Copy of the current Grant Deed (s) with Exhibit “A” (legal description) on each property that shows how title is held (if the title has been changed, provide copies of all deeds from the time of acquisition). The Deed of Trust or Note is not needed.

What information is needed to file a student loan?

Include all information such as balances owed, interest rate, payment schedule and the school, and what period of time you or your spouse received the loan.

What is the goal of hiring an attorney?

For many women, the ‘goal’ of hiring an attorney may simply be “get me outta this marriage!” But honing in on what you want your life to look like after the divorce dust has settled can be a useful tool for identifying how you want to work through the process of ending your marriage.

Is it a good idea to talk to a lawyer about divorce?

If you’ve made up your mind and there’s no alternative but divorce, talking to at least a few lawyers is always a good idea. The first consultation is usually always free, so you’ve got nothing to lose. But, you can gain a lot of information during attorney interviews if you head into the conversation armed with the right questions.

Can you represent yourself in divorce?

Most states allow individuals to represent themselves in the divorce process. And, it’s more common than you think: 80 percent of divorces involve at least one party representing themselves. Lots of people go this route – which means you can, too.

What can a divorce attorney do for you?

An experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney will provide you with the tools to communicate better with your spouse. These tools include how to communicate with your spouse, when to communicate with your spouse and how to diffuse conflict.

How to plan your life after a divorce?

If you want to plan your life after a divorce, you should at least have a general idea of how long divorces similar to yours take. This planning will also help you prepare a budget for the cost of divorce. The attorney should truthfully tell you there is no way to predict exactly how long a divorce will take.

What is spousal support?

Spousal support, also called alimony, is either temporary or ordered at the final judgment. Most divorce cases include both temporary spousal support and spousal support at the judgment phase. We are not going to go into a lengthy discussion about spousal support.

Why do I get divorced?

If I had to bet, I would say that one of the reasons you are getting divorced, or already divorced is because of conflicts with your spouse over parenting. It's very common and one of the more stressful phases of a divorce.

What happens when you retain a lawyer?

When you retain a lawyer, whether for a divorce or another issue, the lawyer is ethically charged with holding what you say to him/her as confidential.

Who is Jason Levoy?

Jason Levoy, a/k/a The Divorce Resource Guy, is an attorney who teaches people without a lawyer how to navigate the divorce process and represent themselves in court.

Is divorce stressful?

Going through a divorce is a stressful time. It's stressful for both you as the person getting divorced and for the attorney who is representing you. There's a saying within legal circles that "criminal law deals with bad people at their best and family law deals with good people at their worst.".

Do divorce attorneys get paid?

Attorneys are not free. They get paid for provide you with their time, knowledge and services. Now, it's often the case in a divorce that money is tight and most attorneys are sensitive to this, but they have to pay their bills too and can't work for free. You can't expect them to work for free.

Do attorneys charge hourly?

Most attorneys charge on an hourly basis, which is stated in your retainer agreement. Clients pay for an attorney's time. Your attorney is not your therapist, although I play one on t.v. I always tell clients I will talk to you as long as you want, but don't be surprised when you get the bill.

Is it important to have a therapist?

It's very important, but that's more the job of a therapist. If you're going to spend money, might as well do so to a qualified professional counselor. Your attorney will contact you when he/she needs something from you. There are periods in every case where nothing is going on and there is down time.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How much does a divorce cost?

Contested divorces cost anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000, though there are plenty of ways to limit the staunch the outward flow of cash before and during the process.

Do divorce lawyers charge by the hour?

Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

Is divorce law firm bigger than solo practice?

In any industry, the larger a company is, the bigger volume it's doing. Divorce law firms are no different, prompting many people to seek a solo practitioner who is more invested in the outcome of your case. Paradoxically, however, if the solo practitioner does not have adequate support staff in his or her office, your case may end up not getting the attention and care you were promised.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.