is is best to have a male or female attorney when defending against a narcissist

by Cole Jerde 4 min read

How to deal with a narcissistic lawyer or client?

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in divorcing a narcissist is having the wrong lawyer! Do not underestimate the importance of retaining a lawyer that understands this personality type. It will make things much easier for you in the long run when you don’t have to “educate” your lawyer on whom you are dealing with. It could take ...

Are narcissists more attracted to law and business?

Nov 08, 2017 · The trick to triggering a narcissistic rage is to first make your STBX look good in front of your family law professionals. Once you have done this, and thrown them off-guard, you then ask questions to expose their problematic behavior. For instance: you or your attorney should begin by asking your spouse if they love their children.

Should you win the case against a narcissist?

Jan 14, 2019 · How a narcissist treats others. “Troubled relationships”. “Exaggerate achievements and talents”. “Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior”. “Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations”. “Take advantage of others to get what they want”.

How can I Prove my Ex is a narcissist in court?

Answer (1 of 5): Thanks for the A2A. I am in disagreement with Ken Dunham’s answer that the opposing counsel’s personality does not matter. In my experience, the personality of opposing counsel, the judge, the parties, the witnesses and every other person connected to the trial matters greatly. ...

How do you defend yourself against a narcissist in court?

Defending Yourself Against a Narcissist
  1. Expect the Unexpected. While this might sound a bit cliche, you never know what a narcissist might try during a divorce. ...
  2. Set Clear Boundaries. ...
  3. Don't Engage in Self-Defense. ...
  4. Document Everything. ...
  5. Consult With Your Attorney.
Oct 4, 2021

How do you beat an argument against a narcissist?

Here are the steps you should take:
  1. Don't argue about 'right' and 'wrong' ...
  2. Instead, try to empathise with their feelings. ...
  3. Use 'we' language. ...
  4. Don't expect an apology. ...
  5. Ask about a topic that interests them. ...
  6. Don't take the bait yourself. ...
  7. Remember to put yourself first.
Feb 11, 2018

How do you argue effectively with a narcissist?

So, how do you argue with a narcissist?
  1. `Choose your battles.
  2. Keep your voice calm and stay composed.
  3. Don't defend or explain yourself.
  4. Hold on to your reality.
  5. Keep bringing it back to the original thread.
  6. Don't bring up old grievances (even when they do).
Aug 18, 2020

How do I bring a narcissist to justice?

Part of a video titled Do This To Bring a Narcissist to Justice! - YouTube
8:50
12:02
The best way to do it is to ethically manipulate. Them into thinking that they got one over on youMoreThe best way to do it is to ethically manipulate. Them into thinking that they got one over on you thinking that you didn't get what you want.

How do you shut down a narcissist?

The best way to shut down a narcissist is to not engage with them at all and to go no contact. People that are narcissistic want things from you – they want your attention and your emotional reaction.Mar 18, 2021

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.Dec 26, 2021

What phrases do narcissists use?

In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like:

"You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else." "It's fate that we met."
Nov 13, 2018

Who are narcissist attracted to?

In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.Jun 5, 2021

What makes a narcissist angry?

8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage

They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions. Their idealized self-image was harmed in some way.

How do you outsmart a narcissist in court?

How to Deal with a Narcissist in Court Proceedings
  1. Common Narcissistic Traits. Exaggerated self-importance (feelings of superiority without achievements to support it) ...
  2. Don't Engage. ...
  3. Shield Your Kids from the Conflict. ...
  4. Don't Expect Mediation to Work. ...
  5. Document Everything. ...
  6. Be Prepared to Explain Narcissism to the Judge.
Jun 11, 2021

How do you trigger narcissistic rage in court?

You can trigger narcissistic rage by putting the narcissist in a position of looking bad. Narcissists do not take criticism well. Gather witnesses who have seen your narcissistic ex behaving badly. This could include family, friends, co-works, teachers.

How do you prove narcissistic abuse?

Key Takeaway About Beating a Narcissist in Family Court
  1. Document everything with facts, dates, and copies of any communications.
  2. If other people witnessed your spouse's behavior, tell your lawyer immediately.
  3. Remain calm during each court appearance or meeting involving your spouse.
Mar 16, 2021

Can a lawyer represent you in a divorce with a narcissist?

Hiring a lawyer to represent you in a divorce with a narcissist is an important decision. Not all lawyers understand narcissistic abuse or the behaviors that might be expected in a divorce. However they do understand a high conflict divorce situation, use the questions below as a guideline. Most lawyers will not give you enough time ...

Do narcissists hire slimeball lawyers?

If you come into the battle with another ego-driven lawyer, the games will never stop. You want an assertive lawyer that knows how to fight yet doesn’t start the fights.

What are the characteristics of a narcissistic lawyer?

Lack of Empathy. Narcissistic lawyers have very little ability to empathize with others. They tend to be selfish and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling. They are also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or guilty.

How to deal with a narcissist?

Most experts agree that the best way to deal with a narcissist is to simply stay away. [10] . Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change.

Why can't Narcissus love anyone?

Narcissus is a character in Greek mythology that could not love anyone else because in seeing his own reflection in a pool of water ends up falling in love with himself. Unable to focus on anything else but his reflection, he avoids disturbing his image in the slightest, refuses to drink the water from the lake and eventually dies of thirst.

What is narcissism in psychology?

The term “narcissism” has evolved into a socially derogatory description of personality traits consistent with arrogance and egotism. However, in the most benign sense of the term, narcissism describes characteristics of individuals who lead with their strengths and don't do well with aspects of weakness or vulnerability.

Do lawyers need perfection?

Lawyers are known perfectionists. Narcissistic lawyers thus have an extremely high need for everything to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it. The demand for perfection leads the narcissist lawyer to complain and be constantly dissatisfied.

What is a narcissist's personality?

The narcissist’s personality is split into good and bad parts, and they also split everything in their relationships into good and bad. They deny their negative words and actions while continually accusing others of disapproving. Narcissists aren’t able to see, feel, or remember both the positive and the negative in a situation. A lawyer bearing this personality trait may be able to effectively argue their client’s position but may face significant challenges building consensus in the context of a leadership role within a firm.

What are the traits of a narcissist?

Narcissists aren’t able to see, feel, or remember both the positive and the negative in a situation. A lawyer bearing this personality trait may be able to effectively argue their client’s position but may face significant challenges building consensus in the context of a leadership role within a firm. 9. Fear.

Do narcissists want to fight?

Narcissists want to fight. For narcissists, fighting means getting supply from you by dragging you through the dirt. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, you need leverage if you truly do not want to fight.

Do narcissists need leverage?

When negotiating with a narcissist, you are definitely going to need leverage . It’s important to keep in mind that narcissists will always have a plan. That plan will always be to take you down, to smear you, and to make you miserable.

What is leverage in narcissism?

It could be the secrets that they have, the secrets that others have, evidence of their crimes, or evidence of their lies. Leverage isn’t just one thing. To truly defeat a narcissist, it is best to have lots of different kinds of leverage. Leverage is used as a way to ethically ...

What happens if a narcissist gets their supply from money?

If the narcissist gets their supply from money, the fancy car, or fancy house – anything that jeopardizes their access to this will be a part of your leverage. If the narcissist gets their supply from devaluing you, anything that jeopardizes their ability to do this will be a part of your leverage. In a court setting, narcissists often get their ...

How do narcissists get narcissistic supply?

It’s important to remember that one of the ways that narcissists get narcissistic supply is through devaluing. In negotiation, getting narcissistic supply from you is actually winning for the narcissist. For reasonable people, winning is usually just getting what’s fair. If you want to get back at the narcissist and take control of the negotiation, ...

How to defend yourself against a narcissist?

When it comes to equipping yourself against the narcissist in court, documentation is your best friend. Document everything. Get two binders – one for you and one for your attorney. Keep copies of emails and text messages (especially threatening ones). Print them out and put them in both binders. Keep logs of all police reports you may have filed, copies of any restraining orders, messages that the narcissist sends you via social media, and missed visitations if you share custody of children. If they fail to take your child to the doctor in the event of illness, document that, too.

Can DV case managers represent you in court?

DV case managers cannot represent you in court, but they can help you in other invaluable ways. First, when you show up to your hearing with your case manager sitting in the pews on your behalf, Judges take note.

What to do if a narcissist is hurting your pet?

Lastly, if the narcissist is engaging in hostile activities, such as slicing your car tires, hurting your pet, destroying your property or belongings, or being physically abusive, take pictures. (If your situation involves physical assault, call 9-1-1 immediately.

Why are women lawyers criticized?

Female Lawyers Penalized For Assertive Behavior Required By The Job. Although assertiveness and self-promotion are often needed to succeed in the legal field, women often feel that they must walk a tightrope. If they are too assertive, then they are criticized for not behaving in a ladylike fashion.

How many female Supreme Court Justices are interrupted?

Female Supreme Court justices are more likely to be interrupted, with 65.9% of all interruptions on the court directed at the three female justices on the bench (Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan). The same apparently applies to lawyers questioned in the present study with almost half of the female lawyers surveyed being interrupted in meetings, compared to only about a third of men. “White men don’t realize how much ‘space’ belongs to them or that they unconsciously feel that they own space. They frequently interrupt others, but if a woman on a conference call states her thoughts, she’s immediately criticized as interrupting,” described one female lawyer in the study.

How to deal with a narcissist ex?

1. Keep your distance and avoid conflict. Avoid your narcissist ex whenever possible and ignore their cruel remarks. Narcissists like making noise, tune it out. Do NOT let them rope you into a hostile conversation about the divorce, or the past, or even the present, it’s a recipe for disaster.

Can a narcissist seek therapy?

Because a narcissist isn’t willingly going to seek therapy for self-improvement (they’re perfect, the problem is everyone else), there likely won’t be an official, clinical diagnosis. Do, however, keep a sharp attorney, one with experience in dealing with toxic individuals, on speed dial.

How to recover from narcissistic abuse?

Of course, this is easier said than done. You don’t have to go it alone. If you’re struggling with recovering from narcissistic abuse, there are resources that can help. One of the best I’ve found is Dr. Judy’s Be the Cause Mind Map System. Dr. Judy’s system can help you: 1 NEVER fall victim to narcissistic abuse again 2 Learn to process your feelings so that you will no longer need long term therapy 3 STOP the multigenerational transmission process of wounding to PREVENT your children and the next generation from carrying multigenerational symptoms.

Is narcissism a part of co-parenting?

Narcissistic qualities (i.e. lack of respect, constant critiquing, blaming, and trash-talking) are in direct contradiction to the skills required to maintain a solid co-parenting relationship. So since co-parenting in the traditional sense is sadly not an option, think of it as ‘parallel parenting’ instead.

Do narcissists live for vengeance?

Narcissists dwell in anger and live for vengeance. They must be the winner, the best, and take great pleasure in tormenting you…still. Years could pass, but a narcissist can be unrelenting. They view themselves as special, entitled, and above others…everyone else is simply inferior.

What is the problem with proving narcissistic personality disorder in court?

The problem with proving narcissistic personality disorder in court is the time, expense, and difficulty to actually prove it. The effort will be exhausting and expensive and, in the end, could prove futile.

Can NPD charmers dupe the courts?

Highly-skilled NPD charmers easily dupe the courts, like they do most people. A judge may not see that your NPD co-parent is simply using the court to torture and control you through the kids. I’ve known a few brave souls to attempt to prove to a judge that their ex is indeed a raging narcissist. None could.