how to stop an aggressive divorce attorney

by Wilhelmine Upton 5 min read

You ignore the aggressive divorce attorney by minimizing the number of points of contact you have with him or her. You can do this best by putting everything in writing and not participate in lengthy telephone calls or in-person meetings.

What to Do If Your Ex Hires an Extremely Aggressive Divorce Attorney
  1. Hire an assertive and experienced attorney. When consulting with a candidate lawyer, specifically ask about his or her experience dealing with aggressive attorneys. ...
  2. Suggest collaborative divorce. ...
  3. Choose your battles wisely. ...
  4. Try reasoning with your spouse.
Jul 26, 2016

Full Answer

Why would a lawyer not be qualified to handle a divorce?

An “aggressive” lawyer may take positions that are outside of a reasonable range of results. He or she may also personalize the case by making inappropriate written or oral statements about the other lawyer and his or her client. The best way to deal with this kind of tactic is be professional, non-reactive to inappropriate criticism, and to try to de-escalate conflict, to keep focused on …

How do you handle difficult opposing lawyers?

Jun 19, 2020 · In fact, many people actually experience divorce as death – of a relationship and of hopes of a desired future. Writer Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has described the five stages of grief when one is dealing with death. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. The person who is facing divorce goes through these same ...

What are the signs of a bad divorce lawyer?

Jul 03, 2017 · Ignoring the Aggressive Divorce Attorney. You ignore the aggressive divorce attorney by minimizing the number of points of contact you have with him or her. You can do this best by putting everything in writing and not participate in …

Can my lawyer tell me what happened in my divorce case?

Aggressive lawyers often do not communicate with their clients that there are often more diplomatic ways of approaching divorce than fighting over every possible issue. Clients should understand the benefits and availability of mediation, collaborative divorce and …

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How do you respond to an aggressive lawyer?

Here are eight approaches to better handle the difficult lawyer.
  1. Point out Common Ground. ...
  2. Don't be Afraid to Ask Why. ...
  3. Separate the Person from the Problem. ...
  4. Focus on your Interests. ...
  5. Don't Fall for your Assumptions. ...
  6. Take a Calculated Approach. ...
  7. Control the Conversation by Reframing. ...
  8. Pick up the Phone.

Why do some divorces take years?

The System: The Divorce Court System Has Built-in Delays

Some laws require a couple to be separated for a certain amount of time before they can file for divorce. Others require a couple to wait for a specific amount of time after they file for divorce before they can finalize their divorce.

Does your divorce lawyer have to be local?

Local attorneys have connections

A local attorney is the best choice because they will give you great legal advice for this particular jurisdiction and court system with direct knowledge of local laws and customs.
Jun 28, 2021

How do you fight a narcissist in a divorce?

Divorcing a Narcissist
  1. Don't Even THINK That Your Divorce Will Be Amicable. ...
  2. Get a Strong, but Reasonable, Divorce Lawyer. ...
  3. Get a Therapist. ...
  4. Assemble Your Support Team BEFORE You Divorce. ...
  5. Get EVERYTHING in Writing! ...
  6. Stay Out of Court as Much as You Can. ...
  7. Find Ways Your Narcissistic Spouse Can “Win” ...
  8. Pick Your Battles Wisely.

Why is it so hard to divorce a narcissist?

Because they tend to manipulate and gaslight, breaking free from a narcissist can be incredibly difficult. Having an amicable divorce is often out of the question. Narcissists tend to put up a strong fight and view the divorce as a competition they must win.Jan 4, 2021

Can I get a divorce without going to court?

It is possible to get divorced without going to court, as long as your partner agrees to the divorce and the reasons why. However, it is still possible that you will need to go to court to decide what happens to money, property and children.Apr 26, 2018

How Can a divorce be resolved?

5 Proven Solutions to Divorce
  1. Go for counseling.
  2. Talk about your needs.
  3. Spend more quality time together.
  4. Get some accountability.
  5. Accept that your spouse is human—just like you.
  6. Understand what are the biggest issues in your marriage.
  7. Start over from scratch.
  8. Change the negative patterns.
May 27, 2020

What is the purpose of a mediator in a divorce?

In mediation, an impartial person (the mediator) helps people reach an agreement they can both accept. The mediator helps people talk the issues through in a way that often makes it easier for the couple to settle the dispute themselves. Mediators do not make decisions.

What happens if a lawyer is aggressive?

Aggressive lawyers often lead the case toward litigation. This can be a highly bitter and emotional experience. Additionally, a lawyer is expected to act on his or her client’s directive, so if the lawyer is acting unreasonable, the court may infer that the client is directing him or her to act this way. This can potentially lead to sanctions or other troubles with the court for frivolous motions or lawsuits.

Can you go to court after a divorce?

The parties may continue to have conflict after the divorce and may continue to go to court for contempt or modification actions. With a settled or mediated divorce, the parties may be more likely to resolve their case once and for all.

What happens at the end of a divorce?

At the end of the case, a judge makes a decision related to the contested issues. He or she may decide which party winds up with certain marital assets. He or she may decide what type of custody to award. He or she may decide on how much spousal support to order. However, in many divorces this final judgment is not ultimately the final judgment. The parties may continue to have conflict after the divorce and may continue to go to court for contempt or modification actions. With a settled or mediated divorce, the parties may be more likely to resolve their case once and for all.

Why do lawyers charge more?

Likewise, more experienced lawyers can often charge more for their legal services because they are in greater demand. Many divorcing clients are willing to pay this premium.

How to deal with difficult lawyers?

In dealing with difficult attorneys, learn to be civil. When you are civil, you exert positive energy, felt not only by your opponents but also by the judge . Many lawyers on receiving correspondence from an opposing counsel will quickly put pen to paper and write a no-holds-barred letter in reply.

How to be proactive in a court case?

To be proactive, lawyers must have a plan of action and anticipate the next move of the opposing counsel, just like in a chess game. By preempting the moves of the lawyer on the other side, you will avoid delays caused by your opponent’s delayed actions.

What is the most stressful aspect of a lawyer's job?

According to some lawyers, dealing with a difficult opposing counsel is one of the most stressful aspects of their jobs. Since some opposing lawyers have formed the habit of aggression, it makes no sense trying to talk them out of it. Dealing with difficult attorneys requires tact. Habits, when formed and done repeatedly, are not easily broken.

How does being assertive help you?

Some research and studies have shown that being assertive reduces your stress and helps you deal with difficult situations. Assertive lawyers are rarely intimidated and can succinctly make their points without insulting the other side.

What is civility in the legal profession?

Civility lies at the core of the legal profession. The legal profession expects every lawyer to act with the utmost courtesy both in and outside the court. There is always a temptation to throw civility out of the window and display aggressive behavior towards an opposing counsel. Big mistake!

Is aggression effective?

The somewhat uncomfortable truth is that aggression can be effective. Aggression is a useful tool where the opposing side has taken hardline or even harmful positions. In those situations, where reasoning is ineffective and compromis e is impossible, aggression can help apply pressure on the opposing side and encourage them to reevaluate their positions.

Do narcissists go on the attack?

Narcissists often go on the attack in a divorce. They bring up every conceivable issue about their ex and attempt to excuse their own behavior by explaining it away as a response to their spouse’s actions, e.g. if my husband/wife didn’t do X, I wouldn’t have done Y and none of this would have happened.

What is Maslow's law of the instrument?

Maslow’s Law of the Instrument states that, if the only tool you have is a hammer, it is tempting to treat everything as if it were a nail. Likewise, if the only tool an attorney seeks to use is aggression, he or she will see every case as a fight.

Can my attorney tell me what's happening in my divorce?

Your attorney should know your case status at any given time . It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask.

What is the difference between assertive and take charge divorce lawyers?

11. Too Detached. You don’t want a lawyer who becomes too emotional or weepy in court.

What happens if your attorney forgets your 4th child?

Although you shouldn’t worry if your attorney forgets the name of your fourth child, there's a major problem if your lawyer doesn’t know anything about your case . Your attorney should remember the basics about your divorce.

What happens if your lawyer doesn't understand your law?

If your lawyer doesn’t understand local laws or procedures, your case may end up taking much longer than necessary, or even worse, being dismissed because your attorney failed to meet essential requirements.

What happens if you miss a court date?

Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice. 2. Perpetually Late. It’s a bad sign if your attorney is always running late, especially if it’s to an important meeting or a court hearing.

Should a lawyer argue for you?

Your lawyer should be arguing for you, not with you. Remember that your attorney works for you: If you’re unhappy with any aspect of your attorney’s style, and it's effecting your case, it’s time to search for a new lawyer.

Can an attorney file documents on time?

There is simply no excuse for an attorney who can’t file documents on time or one who misses important hearings in your case. Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

Can a divorce lawyer tell you that you can come to a full agreement?

"Divorce lawyers won't tell you that you can come to a full agreement in your case at any time," says divorce attorney Russell D. Knight. Instead, they would prefer to engage in the lengthy process of "discovery"—tallying debts and assets—before drawing up the final documents.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

Do divorce lawyers charge by the hour?

Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

Is divorce law firm bigger than solo practice?

In any industry, the larger a company is, the bigger volume it's doing. Divorce law firms are no different, prompting many people to seek a solo practitioner who is more invested in the outcome of your case. Paradoxically, however, if the solo practitioner does not have adequate support staff in his or her office, your case may end up not getting the attention and care you were promised.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

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