how to deal with an aggressive divorce attorney

Categories

• Hire an assertive and experienced attorney When consulting with a candidate lawyer, specifically ask about his or her experience dealing with aggressive attorneys. What strategies does the lawyer use to diffuse the tension and advocate for win-win outcomes during tough negotiations? ...
• Suggest collaborative divorce ...
• Choose your battles wisely ...
• Try reasoning with your spouse ...

Full Answer

Should I hire an aggressive divorce attorney?

While an aggressive divorce attorney can help break through logjams and push a case forward, there are times when aggression will compound the issues in a case. For instance, there are many cases where both parties have valid concerns and positions. The issue is in how those concerns are presented and received.

Is aggressive lawyering a good or bad thing?

Aggression is a useful tool where the opposing side has taken hardline or even harmful positions. In those situations, where reasoning is ineffective and compromise is impossible, aggression can help apply pressure on the opposing side and encourage them to reevaluate their positions. Aggressive lawyering, at least in divorce, can take many forms.

What does it mean when a divorce attorney tries every case?

Trying every case means that the divorce attorney has walked away from many very favorable settlements and forced his or her client to run the risk of a poor result in trial (going to trial is often like Las Vegas).

What is aggressive Lawyering in family law?

Aggressive lawyering in family law has more to do with responsiveness and thoroughness than being mean. It is expressed through thoroughly reviewing and following up on discovery, quickly correcting any factual inaccuracies, and relentlessly progressing issues through the court such that the client’s needs are addressed as quickly as possible.

How do you respond to an aggressive lawyer?

Here are eight approaches to better handle the difficult lawyer.Point out Common Ground. ... Don't be Afraid to Ask Why. ... Separate the Person from the Problem. ... Focus on your Interests. ... Don't Fall for your Assumptions. ... Take a Calculated Approach. ... Control the Conversation by Reframing. ... Pick up the Phone.

What is an aggressive advocate?

Being aggressive means to properly prepare for court appearance and make your best arguments at hearing or trial. Being aggressive means advising the client to accept a settlement offer when you believe that it could probably be the best outcome in the client's case.

How do you win a contentious divorce?

7 Ways to Win the “Unwinnable” Divorce Case with Honesty & IntegrityLots of elbow grease. Good ole' fashioned hard work. ... Develop a compelling “theory of the case.” This is likely the hardest technique to master, summarize or explain. ... Dissipate the anger.

What is aggressive representation?

The emotional nature of divorce litigation has created a market for attorneys that present themselves as specialists in aggressive representation. They solicit business with promises to fight for a client's legal rights and to be tough in the divorce process.

Are lawyers assertive?

Assertiveness, Not Aggressiveness Assertive lawyers state their opinions and make themselves heard while remaining respectful of others. Aggressive lawyers attack or ignore others' opinions in favor of their own.

How do you keep from losing everything in a divorce?

7 Tips to Avoid Giving Up Too Much to Your Wife in Your DivorceTip #1: Identify Your “Separate” Assets. ... Tip #2: Prioritize Your “Marital” Assets. ... Tip #3: Think about Your Wife's Priorities. ... Tip #4: Weigh Your Options. ... Tip #5: Consider the Other Financial Aspects of Your Divorce. ... Tip #6: Put Together a Plan.More items...•

Why does wife get half of the money in a divorce?

Marital property is generally defined as all income, property, and debts acquired during the marriage. That property is seen as owned equally by both spouses, and therefore will be distributed equally after the divorce, with a couple caveats.

What is a scorched earth divorce?

When there is a scorched earth divorce, it is emotionally and financially devastating. One should really think twice before going this route. A divorce if handled amicably in a businesslike fashion allows for division of assets to both parties and proper support for both parties.

What does aggressively fight crime mean?

Aggressive criminal defense includes trying to get evidence the prosecution intends to use against you suppressed so a jury can't hear the evidence. Aggressive criminal defense includes presenting a defense like self defense or other defenses that negate the necessary elements of the charge necessary to find guilt.

Do you have to be aggressive to be a lawyer?

You don't need to be aggressive to be successful – in many ways, aggression is a detriment. In the legal context, assertive lawyers state their opinions and make themselves heard while remaining respectful of others, including the Judge and the opposing party.

What does an advocate do in court?

An advocate is more of a specialist practitioner and provides his or her services by way of specialised expertise in various areas of the law - sometimes by providing an opinion on a legal issue but especially in the presentation of cases in court.

What percentage of collaborative divorces are settled?

Suggest collaborative divorce. According to a recent report from the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), 86 percent of all reported collaborative cases settled with an agreement on all issues.

What percentage of collaborative cases settle with an agreement?

According to a recent report from the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), 86 percent of all reported collaborative cases settled with an agreement on all issues. By incorporating financial experts, mental health professionals, attorneys, and mediators into the negotiation process, couples can make better-informed decisions with more privacy than traditional litigation.

How to deal with anger and resentment in divorce?

Divorce is a process and you need to overcome feelings of anger and resentment before you can make carefully thought-through decisions that are in your and your children’s best interests.

What is the first impulse to get a divorce?

Often their first impulse is to “get even” and “destroy” their spouse and to “win” the divorce. It is very important to understand that this initial desire to find the most aggressive divorce lawyer is not a sign of strength but rather a manifestation of deep fear and anger.

How many stages of divorce are there?

The person who is facing divorce goes through these same five stages. While during the first stage of denial the person is often paralyzed, in the second phase anger and resentment will likely mobilize the person to consult a divorce attorney for the first time.

Is divorce a death?

Much has been written about the parallels between divorce and death. In fact, many people actually experience divorce as death – of a relationship and of hopes of a desired future. Writer Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has described the five stages of grief when one is dealing with death.

How should a divorce lawyer work?

You should collaborate with your lawyer as the case progresses and should get on the same page from day one. A strategic divorce lawyer should share his or her strategies and tactics with you in order to obtain your input relative to your objectives and to better understand the motivations and objectives of your spouse.

How important is it to choose a divorce attorney?

All divorce attorneys are not created equal and it should be clear that no two divorce attorneys are alike in the same way that no two clients are alike. There is not any one divorce attorney who is the perfect match for every client. It is critical to find the divorce attorney that will meet your needs and one who will be motivated to achieve your objectives as opposed to his or her own. Having ‘a’ divorce attorney is not the objective. The objective is having the ‘right’ divorce attorney. Researching a divorce attorney before retaining him or her is time incredibly well spent. Hiring a second or third divorce attorney in the middle of your case is time consuming, costly and may have a negative impact on the results of a case. Retaining the right attorney the first time prevents the costly event of having to retain a second divorce lawyer in the middle of the case.

What is strategic lawyer?

A strategic lawyer helps a client understand the impact of divorce litigation on minor children and attempts to take actions that address any personality disorders of the spouse.

How is divorce similar to CEO?

A divorce lawyer is similar to a CEO in a number of ways. Both have to make decisions relative to priorities, strategies, and the allocation of resources. They each have to pick their battles with the ultimate goal of achieving the highest return at the lowest cost. A CEO must decide which consultants to hire and at what cost. A divorce attorney must decide whether to hire and how much to spend on a forensic accountant, a vocational expert, a compensation expert, etc.

How to be strategic in a divorce?

Being strategic is not intrinsically beneficial and by itself does not lead to a favorable result. Strategy is an overlay on the issues in a divorce. In order to benefit from strategic thinking, the divorce lawyer must have an accurate understanding of the applicable law, the rules of evidence, practicality, common sense and logic. A divorce lawyer needs to be able to use these skills to move the case forward to a conclusion. Being strategic without more, may take the client very efficiently—to the wrong place. For example, attempting to set aside a prenuptial agreement, when a set aside would mean the loss of a house and a substantial amount of cash that the party would not have but for the existence of a valid prenuptial agreement could be “felony stupid.” Determining whether to attempt to set aside a prenuptial agreement requires an analysis of what the party would receive in the way of property and support in a divorce without a valid prenuptial agreement versus the overall result with a valid prenuptial agreement. There are Orange County divorce lawyers who do not ask that type of question, do not do the analysis or do not do it well. Many lawyers handle cases in a manner that is very straight forward, simplistic and seriously lacking in legal analysis. They employ a cookie cutter approach to the practice of law. A divorce attorney could succeed in convincing a court to set aside a prenuptial agreement—only to learn, after the fact, that the net effect of the ‘win’ was a disastrous overall economic loss caused by a failure on the part of the divorce attorney to understand the financial ramifications of a ‘win.’

Why do you have to try every case in Orange County?

Trying every case means that the divorce attorney has walked away from many very favorable settlements and forced his or her client to run the risk of a poor result in trial (going to trial is often like Las Vegas). Had the divorce attorney been a skilled negotiator and taken the time to negotiate a favorable result, the client would not have been forced to spend his or her time in court, would not have incurred the fees necessary to prepare and try the case and would not have run the risk of a disastrous loss in trial.

Why is thinking and acting strategically important in divorce negotiations?

Being strategic means employing specific tactics, practices, and philosophies effectively. Oddly, there are well known Orange County divorce lawyers who actually believe and even say that strategy in a divorce is irrelevant.

What is aggressive lawyering?

It is expressed through thoroughly reviewing and following up on discovery, quickly correcting any factual inaccuracies, and relentlessly progressing issues through the court such that the client’s needs are addressed as quickly as possible. It is about shaping and controlling the narrative of the case in all pleadings and court appearances.

How to move a divorce case forward?

The issue is in how those concerns are presented and received. The most effective way to move that case forward is through dialogue and understanding the other side’s concerns.

Is aggression effective?

The somewhat uncomfortable truth is that aggression can be effective. Aggression is a useful tool where the opposing side has taken hardline or even harmful positions. In those situations, where reasoning is ineffective and compromis e is impossible, aggression can help apply pressure on the opposing side and encourage them to reevaluate their positions.

How to get through a divorce without wasting money?

The key to getting through this without wasting money is to remember that you are in charge. You must make certain that your expectations and goals are defined up front with your attorney, so you can clearly see where they might not be meeting them further down the line.

How to protect your best interests?

To protect your best interests, make an outline of the things that you and your spouse need to address, and prioritize them by importance.

Why is it important to never assume that just because you have a paper telling/ordering someone to do or not?

It’s important to never assume that just because you have a paper telling/ordering someone to do or not do something that they’ll respect it. Paper doesn't force someone to have integrity or honor their word or even the word ordered by a court.

Can you lose track of information during divorce?

It’s easy to lose track of information or get things confused during something as big as a divorce case, but this is the exact trick that manipulators will thrive on. Taking one piece of a puzzle and making it out to be something much worse is a common tactic during divorce proceedings that can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and desperately searching for answers.

Can you go crazy in divorce?

Good people get pushed to their limits and can go crazy in divorce. Becoming aware of some tricks and tactics in divorce proceedings can help you stay calm, focused on your concerns and gain clarity when emotions run high and make sure you’re protected during the proceedings.

Is it acceptable to divorce a bankrupt person?

Many people think it's completely acceptable for divorce to cost a fortune, bankrupt them, and take an exorbitant amount of time.

Is time a factor in divorce?

Time is an area that is often manipulated during a divorce, where proceedings, court dates, and paperwork can be drawn out until you give in and concede... You may have heard the saying "Times flies," but sadly in "Divorceland," it definitely does not. Things will take forever — or at least feel like they do.