divorcing without an attorney and ex is railroading me and alienating me from kids. what do i do?

by Antonina McCullough 8 min read

Can a couple use one attorney to resolve a divorce?

Jul 21, 2020 · Divorcing Without an Attorney Posted on July 21, 2020 05:55pm Attorneys are often surprised by the number of people who need help because their DIY divorce left them without assets or property they may have been entitled to.

Can I represent myself in a divorce without a lawyer?

Parental Alienation. The behavior of lying to the children about an ex-spouse is called “parental alienation” and is considered by the courts to be a serious offense. If a parent becomes entrenched in the behavior of alienating her ex-spouse from their children – even just mentally – there can be serious consequences beginning with a strong admonishment by a family law …

Can a divorce lawyer work for free?

Aug 27, 2019 · Divorce attorneys can’t represent both spouses in a divorce. If your spouse asks you to split the legal bill, don’t do it. An attorney hired by your spouse can’t serve your interests too. Under limited circumstances, a couple can use one attorney to resolve their divorce. Specifically, couples who’ve already resolved their asset, debt ...

Do you need help divorcing a narcissist husband?

Divorcing a narcissist husband does not mean you have to accept a result that is not consistent with the law. There are proper ways to deal with such husbands who are: deceptive, have serious anger management issues, take out those issues on you and the children, or. are intent on driving up your legal fees. This is part one of a two-part article.

How do you fight back against parental alienation?

6 Ways To Fight Back Against Parental AlienationMaintain contact with your child. ... Don't be an alienator. ... Don't blame your child. ... Never miss an appointment to see your children. ... Never stop being a great dad. ... Research parental alienation and get help.

Is parental alienation considered abuse?

We conclude that it is unethical practice to ignore parental alienation as a form of child abuse and family violence. Reducing the severe and substantial harm to children, parents, and extended family members caused by parental alienation should remain the main focus of professional intervention.Jan 10, 2019

Can I charge my ex with parental alienation?

Your attorney may file a Motion for Contempt of Court when you allege parental alienation that indicates your ex is in violation of your court-ordered parenting plan. This motion involves asking the court to become involved and hold your ex in contempt for the violation of the court's parenting plan order.Jul 2, 2020

What is considered parent alienation?

Parental alienation is a situation in which one parent uses strategies — sometimes referred to as brainwashing, alienating, or programming — to distance a child from the other parent.Dec 5, 2019

What is narcissistic parental alienation?

Narcissistic parental alienation syndrome refers to the psychological manipulation of a child by an alienating parent (the narcissistic parent). The manipulation typically results in the child's rejection, disdain, and lack of empathy toward the other, targeted parent.Jan 15, 2018

How damaging is parental alienation?

Research shows that parental alienation has negative and potentially devastating effects on children and the rejected parent. The consequences of severe parental alienation on children are well-documented: low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression, anxiety, lack of trust in others, substance abuse and more.Dec 18, 2021

What are some examples of parental alienation?

Parental Alienation ExamplesBadmouthing one parent.Causing the child to reject the other parent.Interfering with the child's visitation time and contact with the other parent.Undermining the relationship with the other parent.

How does an alienated child feel?

Alienated children generally show intensely negative emotions and an absence of ambivalence. New research on the brain suggests that this may be the result of the unconscious and nonverbal transfer of negative emotions from parent to child.

What does parental alienation look like?

Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent.

What are the 17 signs of parental alienation?

The 17 primary parental alienation strategies fall into five general categories: (1) poisonous messages to the child about the targeted parent in which he or she is portrayed as unloving, unsafe, and unavailable; (2) limiting contact and communication between the child and the targeted parent; (3) erasing and replacing ...

How do you tell if a child is being brainwashed?

These include:Making unfounded allegations of sexual or physical abuse.Making defamatory statements about the other parent (like that the parent is in a cult or has committed a criminal act)Not recognizing an older child's preference to see a parent.More items...

What is malicious mother syndrome?

When this syndrome occurs, a divorced or divorcing parent seeks to punish the other parent, sometimes going far enough as to harm or deprive their children in order to make the other parent look bad. Though most commonly called malicious mother syndrome, both mothers and fathers can be capable of such actions.May 19, 2020

What are the 17 signs of parental alienation?

The 17 primary parental alienation strategies fall into five general categories: (1) poisonous messages to the child about the targeted parent in which he or she is portrayed as unloving, unsafe, and unavailable; (2) limiting contact and communication between the child and the targeted parent; (3) erasing and replacing ...

How do you prove a parent is manipulating a child?

6 Ways To Prove Parental Alienation With Evidence Before You Lose Your Child ForeverDocument Disparaging Remarks. ... Preserve Social Media Evidence. ... Request an Attorney Ad Litem or Guardian Ad Litem. ... Depose Your Ex.

What is parental alienation in divorce?

Parental alienation is a particular family dynamic that can emerge during divorce in which the child becomes excessively hostile and rejecting of one parent. This hostility can involve transgenerational dynamics about which evaluators and family court judges should be aware.

What is narcissistic parental alienation?

Narcissistic parental alienation syndrome refers to the psychological manipulation of a child by an alienating parent (the narcissistic parent). The manipulation typically results in the child's rejection, disdain, and lack of empathy toward the other, targeted parent.Jan 15, 2018

How do you tell if a child is being brainwashed?

These include:Making unfounded allegations of sexual or physical abuse.Making defamatory statements about the other parent (like that the parent is in a cult or has committed a criminal act)Not recognizing an older child's preference to see a parent.More items...

Is parental alienation hard to prove?

Parental alienation is abusive, dangerous, and harmful. ... Unfortunately, it can be difficult to prove allegations of parental alienation. A parent should focus on maintaining a close, loving relationship with their child so their child trusts them. At the same time, the parent can take steps to prove parental alienation.Apr 20, 2021

How do you deal with a lying manipulative child?

Here are 6 tips for parents who are stuck in the manipulation cycle:Recognize Manipulative Behaviors. Recognize manipulative behaviors so you don't get sucked in by them. ... Know Your Triggers. ... Define Yourself and Your Parenting Principles. ... Approach the Bench. ... Believe in Your Child. ... Soothe Yourself.

What are some examples of parental alienation?

Parental Alienation ExamplesBadmouthing one parent.Causing the child to reject the other parent.Interfering with the child's visitation time and contact with the other parent.Undermining the relationship with the other parent.

How does an alienated child feel?

Alienated children generally show intensely negative emotions and an absence of ambivalence. New research on the brain suggests that this may be the result of the unconscious and nonverbal transfer of negative emotions from parent to child.

How do I get my alienated child back?

Here are five ways that Targeted Parents can reconnect with their kids.Address lies and bad-mouthing. Conventional wisdom to “say nothing” in the face of bad-mouthing does Targeted Parents a huge disservice. ... Encourage your child to speak to you directly. ... Manage your emotional reactivity.Mar 1, 2017

Does parental alienation backfire?

Sadly, experts tell us this strategy almost always backfires in the end, and children eventually realize, even if just subconsciously, what was done and resent the parent who engaged in alienation. ... When courts determine parental alienation has been occurring, the repercussions can be severe.Jan 14, 2019

What does it mean when a divorced dad treats his children negatively?

When the children of a divorced dad treat him with a lack of respect or relay negative statements about him that have been dished out by their mother, it is in the dad’s best interests to continue as a strong male role model.

What is the first step for a dad?

A good first step for a dad is to buy a spiral notebook and start documenting the lies that the children are reporting to him. This is very important for proving a case down the line.

Can an ex husband take the high ground?

No ex-husband is required to always take the high ground. If a dad has filled a notebook with a pattern of entries that illustrate bona fide parental alienation, he can help his children (and himself) by meeting with a family law attorney to go over all available options.

What is the best way to get divorced?

Mediation involves a neutral attorney who helps couples reach an agreement in a divorce. The mediator doesn’t represent either spouse and can’t give legal advice. Instead, mediators help couples identify the issues that need to be resolved and create an agreement that comports with the law.

Can a divorce lawyer represent you?

But, the spouse who hires or “retains” the lawyer is the lawyer’s client. If you are the unrepresented spouse, be aware that the lawyer preparing the divorce agreement doesn’t represent you and cannot give you legal advice. One attorney may be enough for couples with simple divorces, but make sure you understand your legal rights if you’re ...

Divorcing a Narcissist Husband - Help for Wives and Mothers

You are divorcing a narcissist husband. You may be scared. You may be at your wit's end. Your narcissistic husband is unpredictable and reckless. You need help.

Our E-Book on divorcing a narcissist

For those who want a comprehensive and informative guide and roadmap on divorcing a narcissist, we have written an E-Book which you may acquire through Amazon.

Divorcing a narcissist husband who bullies and intimidates you

Divorcing a narcissist husband who is the higher income earner means you are likely up against bullying and intimidation.

Each of the narcissist husband's tactics are designed to strike fear and intimidate

All of these are intimidation tactics. All of these tactics are designed to cause the maximum amount of stress and attorney fees so that the wife eventually gives in and takes less than what he or she may be entitled to from the community estate.

Divorcing a narcissist husband with a simple and systematic approach

Instead, you can combat the narcissistic husband with a simple and systematic approach - use your narcissist husband's conduct against him or her.

Questions About Your Team

Who will be working on my case? Will I have a paralegal as a point of contact? How am I billed for their time? If we need investigators or forensic accountants do you work with some you can recommend? Will you be in the courtroom if you go to trial? Will anyone else be at our table in the trial?

Questions About Communication

How often will you be communicating? Is that phone? Office? Video meetings?

Questions About Cost and Fees

What is your honest feeling about me getting legal fees from my spouse? How often is that granted? Under what conditions? If you are the primary earner could you be responsible for your spouse’s attorney fees? How can this attorney protect you from that?

Final Thoughts Before the Hire

Ask for references even if you are sold on them in that meeting. Look at reviews on Lawyers.com and Avvo.com. Go onto a website like Nextdoor.com and ask your neighbors if anyone has ever used this lawyer and get feedback before you give them a deposit.

How to avoid litigation?

If both parties and their lawyers are having trouble coming to an agreement on their own, there are two options to avoid litigation: mediation or arbitration. Both involve a neutral third party. A mediator, for instance, can help both spouses and their lawyers come to a decision but can’t render a decision themselves.

What is legal custody?

Legal custodycovers who will makes the major decisions regarding medical care, education and religion ; and physical (or residential) custodycovers where the children will stay, and when. A parent can have sole, primary or joint (50-50) physical custody.

Who is Caroline Krauss-Browne?

Caroline Krauss-Browne, a lawyer in the matrimonial and family law department of Blank Rome, advises resolving children-related issues — such as legal and physical custody — as quickly as possible. “I don’t like the idea of holding children hostage to money,” Krauss-Browne says.

Why do I get divorced?

If I had to bet, I would say that one of the reasons you are getting divorced, or already divorced is because of conflicts with your spouse over parenting. It's very common and one of the more stressful phases of a divorce.

What happens when you retain a lawyer?

When you retain a lawyer, whether for a divorce or another issue, the lawyer is ethically charged with holding what you say to him/her as confidential.

Who is Jason Levoy?

Jason Levoy, a/k/a The Divorce Resource Guy, is an attorney who teaches people without a lawyer how to navigate the divorce process and represent themselves in court.

Do divorce attorneys get paid?

Attorneys are not free. They get paid for provide you with their time, knowledge and services. Now, it's often the case in a divorce that money is tight and most attorneys are sensitive to this, but they have to pay their bills too and can't work for free. You can't expect them to work for free.

Do attorneys charge hourly?

Most attorneys charge on an hourly basis, which is stated in your retainer agreement. Clients pay for an attorney's time. Your attorney is not your therapist, although I play one on t.v. I always tell clients I will talk to you as long as you want, but don't be surprised when you get the bill.

Is it important to have a therapist?

It's very important, but that's more the job of a therapist. If you're going to spend money, might as well do so to a qualified professional counselor. Your attorney will contact you when he/she needs something from you. There are periods in every case where nothing is going on and there is down time.

Can an attorney help you?

You don't help him help you. Remember, your attorney is YOUR advocate, even if you don't always feel that's the case. However, he is not a mind reader. Your attorney can only work with what you tell him and what documents you give him to back up what you tell him.

When my narcissistic ex tried to limit my parenting time by gaslighting my children I knew I had to fight back

It was an awesome summer for her…as she looked back on the Facebook memories, she saw pictures of them lovingly huddled together on the pontoon boat in red life vests when it was 55 degrees on the water during a crisp early summer Colorado morning.

And then her narcissistic ex dropped a bomb on all of us

Maybe he knew that. Maybe the kids behaved too joyfully after coming home from one of the summer weeks with her. Perhaps he caught wind of the presence of her new boyfriend who had been spending time with her and the on some of their summer adventures.